Facade
by ObviouslyObsessed
Summary: ORIGINAL STORY - ANYONE CAN READ THIS! Rose wasn’t always a bad girl. But now she can barely list anything good about herself. When she betrays her best friend and is kicked out of her social group, who can help her? Will it only become worse?
1. Chapter 1

**SUMMARY: Rose wasn't always a bad girl. But now she can barely list anything good about herself. When she betrays her best friend and is kicked out of her social group, she knows that something has to change. But who can help her? And will things just turn out worse than before? **

**CLAIMER: I own the plot, characters, everything. However, the style is sort of like a Sarah Dessen Novel. ****

* * *

**

**Façade **

**Chapter One**

There are many things that people don't know about me. They don't know that I can't sleep at night. They don't know that I have a little sister that looks up to me, even though I keep letting her down. They don't know that I've tried to give up the drinking and the parties numerous times, but failed miserably every time.

Unfortunately, the stuff that people _do _know about me isn't nearly as innocent. Actually, I'm pretty sure that every single person in my entire school was talking about me today. Gossip from the infamous weekend party had reached the ears of anyone willing to listen.

I parked my car in the school's car park and braced myself before stepping out. Sure enough, people were staring at me, whispering behind their hands and openly talking about me. I ignored them as I made my way towards my usual area.

Morrison High School has a good reputation. We have a black and white uniform that is supposed to make us look more proper. It doesn't work though, because the girls just modify it so that it suits their tastes. I know my skirt is a little bit shorter than regulation. But what can I say?

The school grounds are nice. There are a lot of plants and pretty flowers. The school itself is made up of several buildings spread out around the grounds. To me the whole place seems like someone has tried to make the Perfect School. And I'm sure it would be perfect if there were no students in it. But alas, the snobs that rule this school are going to exist no matter what the grounds look like.

The funny thing is that I rule this school too. When I walk past, people are in awe of me. But they're also scared at the same time. I have the power to build people up or tear them down. It's a power I don't particularly enjoy and I'm sure I wouldn't mind giving it up.

However, it's different if someone takes that power away from me. It's one thing to voluntarily retire from a position of power. It's another to have it taken away from you.

I never used to be a bad person. I didn't drink to get drunk. I didn't have sex. I didn't party every weekend. But things had changed. Now I was about to pay the consequences.

My group of friends were sitting at our usual spot under a large Oak Tree. I approached them, head held high. Kendall looked up and met my eyes. That's when I knew that I was in for a lot of trouble. Her eyes flashed dangerously as she pursed her lips in a way I had come to be familiar with.

"Rose, I didn't expect you to show your face today," Kendall said in an icy tone meant to chill.

"Don't you know by now? I always do the things you least expect," I said sweetly.

"Like have sex with my boyfriend?" she asked with an arched eyebrow. Sometimes I forgot how upfront she was. She had no tact whatsoever, but that used to be something I admired about her.

I didn't reply.

She tossed her perfect blonde hair and smirked at me. She knew she had the power to do whatever she wanted to me. My 'friends' would follow her no matter what. She was the Queen Bee after all.

"He doesn't know how it happened. He told me that he must have been completely smashed to even go anywhere near you," she said, referring to her boyfriend.

I didn't rise to the bait.

"Just tell me. Are you that incredibly jealous of me?"

"Kendall, I don't have to be jealous of anything. It was your boyfriend who came onto me. I'm just sad that I was too out of it to turn him down," I told her. I sincerely regretted sleeping with her boyfriend. I had never set out to hurt her. I'd just been way too drunk to realise who I was with.

"I know you're hurt..." I ventured.

"Piss off, tramp! Learn to keep your legs shut!" she yelled at me. I took it as a physical blow. She was my best friend, after all. My other friends just stood around watching our confrontation. I knew I couldn't rely on any of them anymore.

"I'm sorry," I forced myself to say before I turned and left. There was no use trying to be their friend anymore. Plus, I didn't think I wanted to. They would only find some way to take revenge on me. Kendall's world was just a façade. On the inside it was actually ugly and so not worth it.

* * *

The whispering didn't stop. Even when I was in class, I could hear people talking. Someone was telling such a blatant lie that I had to restrain myself from not saying anything. Rumours got out of hand quickly, there was no point trying to stop them. The best bet was to wait them out. Not even a sex scandal could last forever.

"Class, we have a new student with us today. His name is…" Miss Jackson turned to the guy at the door. The class's attention was immediately on the new boy. He was tall, with blonde hair and a good build. He was cute in a slightly boyish way.

"Daniel Grey," he said for Miss Jackson.

"How about you give us an introduction," Miss Jackson prompted. He gave her a look as if to say 'are you serious?' before he reluctantly faced the class.

"I'm Dan. I've just moved here from the next town over. I play soccer. Umm…" He glanced at the teacher before giving a shrug. "That's about it."

"Okay. Take a seat. Let's begin with the lesson, shall we?" Miss Jackson said with a smile.

Every girl in the room watched Daniel as he took a seat at the back of the room. I watched him for a moment, got bored, and turned back to Miss Jackson. I needed all the help I could get to pass this class. I couldn't waste time watching a marginally cute guy that was already being mentally stripped naked by the other girls in the class. Hopefully, his sudden arrival would detract some attention away from my recent scandal. A girl could dream.

* * *

"It's always a bad sign when a gorgeous girl is sitting by herself," a voice said from behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see the new guy standing behind me. What was his name again?

"How much does a polar bear weigh?" he asked me.

I looked at him with one eyebrow raised.

"Enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm Daniel," he said with a grin.

"That is so lame," I told him honestly.

"I know," he said as he sat down opposite me at the table.

"I'm Rose," I said after a moment.

"Ah, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl," he said, whilst still grinning.

"Are you usually this flirty?" I asked.

"This is nothing. You should see me when I'm drunk. Apparently I'm a sight to see."

"I can imagine."

"So, why are you sitting here all by yourself?" he asked, running a hand through his blonde hair. It was a bit too short for my liking, but it suited him.

I was about to answer when Kendall appeared, eyeing Daniel like he was a piece of meat to add to her barbeque. I sighed and gave him an apologetic look before I turned towards Kendall expectantly.

"Rose. Imagine seeing you here with yet another guy. I would say it's a surprise, but it isn't."

"You're so funny," I said sarcastically. Mean remarks had never been her forte. I'd always had to think of them for her.

"I'm Kendall," she said, sticking her hand towards Daniel.

"Daniel," he replied, looking a little bit confused by our interaction. He shook her hand and gave me a look.

"There are some people I'd like to introduce you to, if you want to come with me," she said sweetly.

"I was actually talking to Rose…" He looked at me in an adorably cute way. I just shrugged.

"My boyfriend's best friend is the captain of the soccer team. He was hoping to meet you," she told him.

"You can go. We can talk later," I told him sincerely.

"Okay. I'll see you later then," he said to me with a sweet smile before he walked off with Kendall. She glanced over her shoulder at me with a smug smirk on her face. I just sighed at her pettiness. It's not like I'd pounced on Daniel. He'd come to talk to me!

The rest of the day progressed slowly. Math was unbearable, like always. And Chemistry was a pain in the ass. Biology, however, was my saviour. It was probably the one class I was doing really well in (besides English, which a blind monkey could pass at this school). Biology I could do. I liked learning how the body worked and all of that stuff. I just hoped I could keep up my good grades.

People were still whispering no matter where I went. I got a lot of odd looks from complete strangers. It was really starting to annoy me. Like how random people would call out 'slut' whenever I walked past. Or how my ex-friends would giggle or give me menacing looks whenever I was near them. It was enough to drive me insane.

"_C'mon Rose; just this once," Brett had purred in my ear. His big hands were all over me, making me feel hot even though it was freezing outside. I moaned when his hot mouth attacked mine, sending shivers of anticipation down my spine. _

"_I've wanted you for so long," he whispered as he took my clothes off, one by one. _

"_Kendall will never know," he promised me before our hormones took over._

"Rose!"

"Huh?" I said as I was abruptly snapped out of my daydreaming with a shudder.

"I've been calling your name for the last ten minutes," Daniel said. I looked at him, taking in his handsome face, and frowned. Since when had he been in my Biology class?

"Since when have you been in my Biology class?"

"Since today," he said, giving me a strange look.

"What?" I snapped.

"You must have been pretty out of it not to notice," he commented.

"I was just…thinking."

He looked at me closely, obviously not believing a word I had just said. I smiled at him, desperately searching for a way to change the subject.

"What's up with you and Kendall?" he asked after a moment of awkward silence.

Great, I had wanted a subject change, but this topic somehow didn't make me feel any better.

"We had a fight," I told him.

"You slept with her boyfriend," he said sternly.

I groaned and looked away from him. Since when had people been so upfront with me? What happened to the days when everyone hid their insults in jokes and always skirted around sensitive subjects?

"Don't judge me," I told him, meeting his eyes. "You don't even know me." My voice was cold and I had my 'bitch' face on. But he had no right to lecture me on my morals. He didn't even know me.

"I thought you were different," he said softly.

"Shut up!" I yelled, causing everyone in the class to look at us. I still had my 'bitch' face on, so I aimed it at the class. They got the point quicker then Daniel had and turned away.

"Don't you think I regret it? It was a stupid thing to do. But I was too drunk at the time to even stand up, let alone turn a guy down."

"Then maybe you should apologise to her."

"I have!" I hissed.

He seemed surprised. "You have?"

"Yeah. But Kendall has been looking for an excuse to get rid of me for a long time now. I get more attention than she likes. In her twisted mind, she thinks I'm a threat," I explained.

"Don't blame other people for your mistakes," he said, sounding like some Buddha-Zen crap.

"Stop acting like a freaking Saint! Where do you get off lecturing me? I don't even know you." I was so mad I could have brought Hitler to his knees with one look.

"I was just trying to see what type of person you were, that's all," he said softly.

"Yeah, well, I know what type of person you are. If you've got a stick up your ass, I don't think you should be hanging out with me," I told him.

"Whatever," he said. He stood up and, without a backwards glance, left me alone at my desk. He sat on the other side of the room and immediately started up a conversation with another of my fellow students.

I was pissed off. Who did he think he was, trying to make me out as a horrible person? I didn't mind when I was calling myself bad. But I can't stand it when other people say it to me. I guess I'm strange in that way. Maybe it's because I don't like taking other people's crap. Or maybe I was just retarded. Either way, the fact still stayed the same. Daniel was a jerk.

I glared at the back of his head for a while, but then I got bored. It wasn't fun when they ignored you. So instead I returned to my work and tried to focus. I _had _to pass Biology. It would bruise my ego if I ever failed it.

After Biology, I definitely needed something to make me relax. A drink would do the job, but my mum would kill me if I came home drunk. Plus, my sister would be devastated. Maybe a cigarette would help. But then again, I wasn't a big smoker. I only ever smoked when I was really annoyed at something.

Huh, I guess it's a cigarette then.

* * *

**A/N: What do you think? Tell me in a review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**

* * *

**

Chapter Two

My house is small compared to all the other houses on the block. Even though it cost a fortune and no middle class person could afford a house like ours, we still looked poor. I mean, all the other houses surrounding us were freaking _mansions. _It was really annoying.

When I walked into the kitchen I was surprised to see my mum and dad at the table. My parents had been separated for two years, so it was strange to see them both in the same room.

"What's up?" I asked, grabbing an apple from the counter and taking a bite.

"Hey honey, we're just talking," my mum said cheerily. I stopped and stared at her, raising an eyebrow. Did she think I was an idiot?

"I'm signing the divorce papers," my dad said, giving my mum an exasperated look. Mum tended to cover everything up. She lied about absolutely everything, even stuff she didn't have to lie about.

My heart faltered for a moment when the news finally registered in my mind. My parents had been separated for ages, but I never thought they would get a divorce. They had been the perfect couple, but then…

I sighed. I knew what had torn them apart: me. I'd turned into a bitch that they couldn't handle. There was one period of time when I was really bad. I would come home drunk and invite my boyfriends to the house. My parents had even caught me sneaking into our next door neighbour's yard for a joint.

They used to fight over me every night. They didn't know what to do with me. I guess it was what finally drove them apart. I was such a bad person. What type of girl was the cause of their parent's break up? I so needed to make it up to them.

"Why now?" I asked, swallowing back my guilt.

"I've found someone…else," my dad said without making eye-contact with my mum. I watched him, trying to assess the situation.

"Does Emily know?" I inquired.

"No," my mum whispered. "Not yet."

I turned towards my sister's room. The door was closed and I wondered if she was listening.

"She's at choir practice this afternoon. She won't be home until later," my mum said when she saw where I was looking.

"This is going to break her heart," I said softly without looking at them. "She could barely manage when you guys got separated. I hope you guys know what you're doing."

Without another word, I chucked my apple in the bin and walked towards the backdoor, slamming it behind me. My backyard was split into three main sections: the patio (with a table and chairs neatly arranged in the middle), the pool area (which was fenced off), and the grassy area that was dominated by gardens and ugly statues that my mum adored.

I marched to the back fence, dragging a chair along with me. I arranged it so that I could use the chair to climb over the fence and quickly made it over. Garry, the guy that lived behind our house, usually had some cigarettes that he could spare me.

When I landed in the yard, the first thing I noticed was that there were boxes sitting on the patio. The second thing I noticed was that someone (not Garry) was leaning against the fence, smoking a cigarette. He seemed surprised to see me, which I supposed would be the normal reaction.

"Uh, you're not Garry," I couldn't help but say.

He smirked. "No, I am not."

I took a closer look at him and was sure my eyes widened by about a centimetre. He was gorgeous! He had dark hair and olive skin that greatly contrasted with his electric blue eyes. He was tall and lean with my favourite type of body. My heart started to race as I smiled at him.

He slowly exhaled some smoke as he studied me. I wasn't really into smoking (bad habit and all that), but it looked plain sexy when he did it. Quickly, so that it wasn't really obvious, I took in what he was wearing. He had a Jackson High uniform on, which meant he went to school a few blocks away from me. I couldn't help but smirk. It wasn't every day that you got to see perfection.

"Uh, sorry for jumping the fence. I thought that Garry would still be here…" I surveyed the backyard, probably looking really confused.

"We just moved in. Garry said he wanted a change of scenery," he explained.

"Oh. I was actually searching for a cigarette. Can I bum one off of you?" I asked, hoping I wasn't being rude.

He silently took the pack out of his pocket and slipped one out. "I don't usually smoke, you know," he said as he passed me one. "I've just been really stressed."

"Me too," I said as I took it from him. "Do you have a lighter?"

"I only have matches and I just used my last one up," he said, patting his pockets. He took another puff from his cigarette and exhaled like a pro. I got caught up watching him for a moment, basking in his hotness. Then I got an idea.

His cigarette was still in his mouth, so I placed mine between my lips and reached up on my tippee-toes. I pressed the tip against his in a 'cigarette kiss' and was surprised when it actually worked. The end lit up and I inhaled happily, letting it unwind me. Cigarettes always helped calm me down when I was really stressed. Having a whole school talking about you behind your back and finding out your parents were getting a divorce was what I classified as 'really stressed'.

"Whoa. That is something I've never done before," he said after a moment.

"There's always a first," I said with a smirk. "I'm Rose, by the way."

"Alex," he replied, giving me a smile that caused my heart to stop beating. God, he was so good-looking.

"So, what brings you to this side of town?" I asked, leaning against the fence next to him.

"My parents decided to buy a house that we can barely afford. They think they're rich," he explained, causing me to laugh.

The street behind my street wasn't nearly as expensive as mine, but it was still reasonably pricey. I'd always wondered how Garry, an old and retired dog trainer, could afford a house like this. I'd learned to stop asking, though. That was one secret he had never planned to tell me.

We fell into a comfortable silence and I kept sneaking glances at him, trying to memorise his handsome face. After all, I might never see him again. And wouldn't that be a shame? Man, I wish I had my camera. When I caught him sneaking glances at me, my face warmed and my heart started beating a hundred miles a minute. God, I hadn't had this type of reaction to a guy in ages.

"You know, I'm trying to figure out how a girl like you could possibly fit in at Morrison High," he said, eyeing my uniform. I adjusted it self-consciously, surprised at myself. When was I ever self-conscious around guys? I felt like a thirteen year old girl again. No, I felt like a virgin.

"Well, it's a long story. I used to fit in. Now I'm not too sure," I replied cryptically.

"I'm intrigued," he said as he tilted his head towards me.

"You probably don't want to know," I told him.

"If you say that, it automatically insures that I want to know," he joked.

I stood in silence for a moment, mentally going through my options. I had enjoyed talking to someone who didn't know about my past indiscretions. I didn't particularly want to tell him my life's most private details and have him judge me like everyone else. But on the other hand, he had to find out sooner or later. Plus, if he didn't like my morals then he could just leave me alone. The thought saddened me, but it's not like our relationship would ever go anywhere anyway.

"I'm not a very good person," I told him without making eye contact.

"Neither am I," he said. I sensed that he was smiling but didn't turn to check.

"I don't think I feel comfortable telling you," I said, taking another puff from my cigarette.

We stood in silence for another moment. But this time it was far from comfortable. I wondered what he was thinking and if he would think any less of me if I told him the truth.

"Look, you don't have to tell me anything. I hardly even know you," he told me after what seemed like a lifetime.

"How 'bout I take a raincheck?" I said, giving him a smirk.

"Sounds good," he said with a genuine smile that could've made an iceberg in the middle of the Artic melt.

"Thanks for the cigarette," I said as I took a final drag. I dropped it on the ground and extinguished it with my foot.

"No problem," he said, watching me curiously. His eyes travelled down my body (not very subtly) and I grinned before I leapt up onto his fence and pulled myself over. I used the chair that was on my side to help get down and then stood still for a moment, wondering what had just happened. Then I made my way back into the house with a smile on my face.

I found myself entering my room and making my way to the mirror. I analysed myself, turning this way and that. I had long reddish-brown hair that glowed in the sun and pale skin. My green eyes were my favourite feature and I always put lots of eye makeup on to make them stand out. I was tall for my age, but still not taller than a lot of the guys in my classes. A lot of people said that I looked older than seventeen. Someone had even guessed my age as twenty-four once. But I'm pretty sure they were just stupid.

I smiled at my reflection. My hair hadn't been doing anything weird today and my skin was clear. I'd felt self-conscious near Alex before, but I'd also felt completely content with myself. They were contradicting feelings, I knew, but I couldn't explain it.

"Rose!" my sister, Emily, yelled as she burst into my room. She was holding her school bag and her cheeks were pink. I smiled at her and she threw herself into my arms.

"Guess what, I-" Her nose wrinkled as she stared up at me. "Why do you smell like smoke?" she asked.

I mentally groaned. "Uh, my friend was smoking next to me," I lied.

Her knowing eyes stared right through my soul, but she didn't say anything to contradict me. She just looked disappointed, which made my heart break.

"Guess what!" she said.

"What?"

"Mrs. Smith is going to give me a solo in one of our choir songs! We're going to perform it in a couple of weeks at our concert," she said excitedly.

"Wow, really? That's awesome," I enthused.

"Will you come and watch?" she said hopefully.

"Of course I will," I told her, giving her another hug.

She ran out of my room, making a commotion. I started to laugh when I heard her start talking to my mum about it.

I collapsed onto my bed and thought about everything that had happened today. My indiscretions had been made public to the whole school. I'd met Daniel, an infuriating, and at the same time, sweet guy. My parents were getting divorced and my dad had found a new lady. Then I'd met Alex: male perfection (well, in the looks department at least). Now I was exhausted.

I jumped up from my bed and rummaged through my desk, searching for something. When I found my camera I cried out in success. I used to love photography. Then I'd become friends with Kendall and I'd kind of forgotten all about it. Now I knew that it was time for me to take it up again. After all, it was something that made me happy. And at this point in time I had to take everything that I could get my hands on to be happy.

I placed the camera in my bag and smiled to myself before I grabbed my stuff to take a shower.

* * *

That night, as I lay in bed, I faintly heard guitar music coming from a nearby house. I stopped my crying and listened to the classical tunes. I'd broken down an hour ago, finally letting the tears escape as my sorrow seeped out of me. Now I focused on the complex yet soothing music and drifted off to sleep with the beautiful melody in my head.

* * *

**A/N: So, Alex or Daniel? **

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"You know, I've thought a lot about what we were talking about yesterday," Daniel said as he slumped into the chair next to me. I was in the library, trying to a) avoid whispering and b) study for my math exam. I gave him a look before I continued trying to work on a particularly hard equation.

"I realised that I was judging you and I'm really sorry. I think we should start fresh. So, what do you say?" he asked, nudging me in the shoulder.

I thought about telling him to get lost, but there was something about Daniel that made it impossible to stay mad at him.

"All right, you're forgiven," I muttered, reaching to grab my calculator.

"You're doing it all wrong," he said after a moment, reading over my shoulder.

I gave him an irritated look.

He sighed and took my pencil from my hand. Then he started scribbling on my book, showing me how to do the question. When I just stared at him blankly, he rolled his eyes and walked me through the procedure slowly. Soon after, I knew exactly what to do to solve it and any equations similar to it. I grinned.

"So, a mate from my old soccer team invited me to a party this weekend. It's a Jackson High party, so I figured that you probably wouldn't run into many people from here. What do you say?" He looked so hopeful and excited that I had trouble thinking of an excuse to turn him down.

"Uh, I'd say that no matter whose party it is, Kendall always has a tendency to show up," I said evasively.

"There's going to be a live band from their school. It'll be awesome," he prompted.

"Ugh," I groaned, trying not to look directly into his eyes. That was sure to lead to total submission on my part.

"I'll even give you a lift," he added. I glanced at him and immediately wished I hadn't. His eyes were huge and pleading and I knew that it was futile to resist.

"Fine," I snapped, giving him an annoyed look. "But we're only going as friends and if Kendall shows up, I can't be held responsible for my actions."

"Yes!" he yelled, punching his fist into the air.

Two seconds later an angry librarian came over and kicked us out. I glowered at Daniel as I packed up my textbook and equipment. He had the sense to look ashamed and I couldn't stay angry at him when he looked so adorable.

"I'll pick you up Saturday at seven, okay?" he said once we were outside. I nodded my head, giving him a playful shove. He was the closest thing I had to a friend at the moment, which was annoying to admit. Everyone else had abandoned me for Kendall. I wondered if I was really that bad. I knew I had to change, but a leopard can't change its spots, right? So what was the point? I'd tried before and it had always ended badly. I usually had some sort of meltdown that just made everything worse than before.

Daniel stayed with me until the bell went, talking about his soccer tryouts that were on this afternoon. He asked me to come watch and I couldn't find it in myself to refuse. After all, it's not like I had any plans with anyone. If I was going to have any friends then I at least needed to try and do something about it.

The next lesson wasn't that bad. I found it easier to ignore the whispers going on around me and I even smiled a couple of times when the teacher cracked a joke. Which I know is surprising because teachers aren't supposed to be funny. Daniel was a nice guy, even though he always seemed to get on my nerves. I wondered if we could make a friendship work.

* * *

After school was finished, I found that my locker had been decimated. It was the first outright attack on property that I'd received. To tell the truth, I'd been expecting it a lot earlier. In bright red letters, the word 'slut' had been spray painted all over my locker. There was also a yellow post-it note stuck near the lock. I ripped it off and read what was written on it. I frowned when I realised it was a website. I repressed my concern when I realised the many things a website could represent.

By now students were crowded around my locker, laughing and joking and pointing. I clenched my fists, trying to repress my anger. I opened my locker and dumped all of my unnecessary things inside it, grabbing what I needed. Then I pushed my way through the group of gawking students and walked, head held high, towards the soccer try outs. If anyone thought that I could be brought down by mere graffiti, they were greatly mistaken. I was tough. I could handle this. Well, I hoped so.

So instead of running home with my tail between my legs, I went to the soccer field and watched Daniel as he tried out for the team. He was good. I'd never seen someone that fast before. He dribbled the ball like a pro and he seemed to fly down the field. It was obvious that he would get in. I knew our school's team needed another strong player to guarantee their victory in the up-coming inter-school competition.

"Hey Rose," a voice said from behind me. I turned, expecting to see a hostile face, only to be met with a smile.

"Oh, hey Will," I said with my own smile.

Will sat down beside me, watching the action on the field for a moment. I watched for a moment as Daniel scored a goal and gave out a cheer. I smirked before I turned back to Will.

"Nothing I like more than guys running around in shorts," he said with a wink.

I laughed so hard I nearly fell over. Will was one hundred percent gay and a lot of people gave him shit for it. I always felt bad for the way people treated him, but he always seemed to have a smile on his face anyway. It made me happy to know that he was comfortable enough with himself to not take notice of mean remarks.

"So, who are you here for?" Will asked.

"Daniel. He wanted me to come and watch," I said.

"He's not your boyfriend, is he?" Will asked, eyeing Daniel appreciatively.

I laughed. "No, we're just friends. But I don't think he swings your way."

"Damn," he said with a sigh.

I couldn't help but laugh again.

"I saw what happened to your locker," he said gravely after a short silence. I turned to him, expecting to see pity written all over his face. Instead, I was surprised to see a sparkle in his eye that suggested humour.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Nothing really: just the fact that people think that writing a word on your locker is going to hurt you. You're one of the toughest girls I know. I can't see you running away from a locker, balling your eyes out."

I grinned. I'd always been pretty good friends with Will, even when my friends had made fun of me for it. We weren't close enough friends to hang out together and do stuff outside of school. But I could always talk to him whenever the opportunity arose. I was surprised that I hadn't thought to hang out with him. Maybe it was because I was so prepared to be alone after everything that had happened.

When tryouts were over, Will and I sat at the edge of the field, waiting for Daniel. He ran over, sweating and flushed red. He grinned at me and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up.

"This is Will," I said, gesturing to the dark haired boy beside me. Daniel smiled and shook Will's hand. Even after it became apparent to him that Will was gay, he didn't do anything mean or offending. Actually, he seemed perfectly fine. I smiled as I realised that Daniel w_as_ a good guy. It was always nice to meet someone that was comfortable enough with himself not to judge people just because they were different.

I knew it was a different case if the person had _done _something wrong; like me. It couldn't be helped that Daniel had judged me. Anyone would have in his situation.

"So, how did I go?" he asked me after a moment.

"Do I even need to answer that? There's no doubt that you made the team," I said.

"Well, you're right. I made the team," he said with a grin.

I swatted at him playfully for asking me the question in the first place.

"I've gotta go and get my stuff and everything," Daniel said, glancing over at the retreating backs of his team mates. "Do you have a phone?"

I handed him my phone and he programmed his number in. "Text me your address so I know where to pick you up from tomorrow," he said with a smile before he ran off to catch up with everyone else.

"Nice guy," Will said as we made our way to the car park.

"Yeah, it's weird. I've only known him a couple of days, but it feels like I've known him for ages. Maybe it's just because he's so friendly and easy-going," I said, glancing over my shoulder. I felt uneasy when I realised that Daniel wasn't always easy-going. He could be quite serious sometimes, especially when it concerned me.

"Where are you guys going on the weekend?" Will asked.

"To a Jackson High party. It's one of his soccer friend's or something."

"Really? I'm going to be at that party," he said with a smile.

"Awesome," I said, giving a genuine smile. At least now if something went wrong I would have Will there. I knew I could count on him to help in a bad situation. I wasn't so sure about Daniel yet. We did argue a lot, so he would probably be the reason for the bad situation.

"So I'll see you there," Will said as he made his way over to his car. I waved to him as he sped off in his little car.

* * *

The beach was nearly deserted at this time of afternoon. Instead of going home, I'd felt like using my camera. So with a quick call home explaining where I would be, I made my way to the beach. The sun was setting and the lighting was perfect for photography.

I sort of felt nervous to get back into photography. I hadn't done it for so long. But as soon as I started snapping photos, everything returned to me and I felt at home - like I'd been taking photos for my entire life.

I was admiring the sunset when I noticed two people holding hands and watching the sunset. Unable to resist any opportunity, I manoeuvred so that I was behind them and starting snapping pictures of the couple against the setting sun. When they turned towards each other to kiss, I couldn't believe my luck. It was the perfect photo, so I made sure to keep snapping them. After that they seemed to notice me.

"What the hell? Were you taking photos of us?" the girl yelled, shading her eyes to get a better look at me. I didn't see how shading her eyes would help her see better in the increasing darkness, but I got the point.

"Kate, honey, leave the girl alone. Do you remember what we discussed about your temper?" the guy said exasperatedly.

"Shut up, Jeremy! She was taking stalker photos of us!"

I approached them cautiously, trying not to seem guilty. "I'm sorry; I just couldn't resist taking a photo. I was thinking of creating a portfolio for university and I'm trying to take as many photos as possible. If you want, I can delete the photos. Or I could give you a copy of them. I think you guys look awesome," I said, aware that they probably thought I was the biggest weirdo.

"Can I have a look?" the girl said after a moment.

"Uh, sure," I said as I hesitantly approached them. When I was closer, I realised that they were probably the same age as me. I didn't notice before.

I toggled through the photos until I found the best photo of them kissing. I showed them the camera and watched the girl's face soften. She turned to the guy and smiled at him. In that moment I was fully aware how much these two loved each other. It was so obvious that I wondered how I could have missed it.

"Sorry I snapped at you. Sometimes I get a bit carried away," the girl said with a smile. "The photo is beautiful and I would appreciate it if we could get a copy. I'm Kate. This is Jeremy," she said, gesturing to the guy.

He nodded to me with a gentle smile. He was dark and handsome while the girl was small and blonde. Her hair had a pink stripe through it that framed one side of her face.

"I'm Rose."

"Well Rose, I think you have a lot of talent," Kate said as she toggled through the rest of the photos.

"Thanks."

"So, what school do you go to?" she asked, looking at me with her silvery blue eyes.

"Morrison," I said, wondering how she even knew I still went to school.

"We go to Jackson. Are you going to Jacob's party tomorrow?"

"Uh, does he play soccer?" I asked, wondering how this girl could keep making correct assumptions.

"Yeah. So you're coming?"

"Well, assuming that there aren't two soccer players having a party this weekend, then yes. My friend invited me."

"Awesome. We'll see you there and if it's not too much trouble, you could give us a copy of the photos," Kate said with a smile.

Jeremy sighed and took Kate's hand. "Sorry, she's a bit bossy sometimes. But I love her anyway," he said.

"I'm not bossy!" Kate exclaimed.

"Kate, what did we just talk about with your temper?"

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"We'll see you tomorrow," she said as Jeremy dragged her away and kissed her before he pulled them towards an old car.

"Bye," I muttered as I tried to figure out what had just gone on. They had to be the cutest couple I'd ever seen. I smiled to myself as I walked back towards my car, ready to call it a night.

* * *

That night I listened to the soft guitar music that was coming from somewhere close by. Its soothing melody worked as a lullaby and I wondered who was playing such beautiful music. Had Josh, my middle-aged neighbour, decided to take up the guitar again? He seemed like the best bet, considering he used to be in a semi-famous band.

Slowly, my thoughts drifted and I fell asleep to beautiful music.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

It was Saturday afternoon; three hours before I was getting picked up by Daniel. I held a crumpled post-it note in my hand as I sat in front of the family computer. I wondered what the website scribbled on the note could possibly be about. Hesitantly, I typed the address into the internet browser and clicked 'enter'.

It was a blog dedicated to me. The story of the infamous weekend party was written down for everyone to read and there were even pictures accompanying it. I swallowed as I clicked on the numerous links, exploring all the rumours circulating about me. I wondered who would have the audacity to create a blog based on my life. The obvious choice would be Kendall, but I was sure she was too lazy to write a blog every week.

My hands clenched as I noticed mention of my little sister in one of the blogs. Now I was angry. No one deserved to mention Emily negatively. I bit my tongue to refrain from yelling as I noticed that Daniel was mentioned as well. What was wrong with these people? Internet bullying? Did they not have a life? I kicked the desk in frustration and closed the site.

* * *

In my anger, I decided to wear a killer outfit. If I was already the centre of attention, then what was the point of trying to hide? I might as well make a statement while I'm at it. So I pulled out my pleated black mini skirt and killer thigh-high black boots. I had a trendy white blouse that simultaneously made my breasts look bigger and waist look thinner. I made my eyes smoky and dark to bring them out and made sure my hair was perfectly styled. When I was done, I felt a little bit better about myself. After all, a website designed to humiliate you doesn't really do wonders for your self-esteem.

"Wow, you look amazing," Emily said when she poked her head into my room. She was all dressed and ready for bed. I knew that my mum had plans to watch a movie with Emily tonight and I was glad that they were bonding.

"Thanks, Em," I said as I gave her a hug.

My mum was spread out on the couch when I made my way downstairs. She glanced at me and I could see in her eyes that she wasn't very impressed.

"Where do you think you're going dressed like that?" she demanded.

"I'm making a statement," I said truthfully.

I knew she was about to protest, but before she could start I heard a horn outside. "My ride's here," I said quickly as I grabbed my phone and some money and ran out the door. "Don't wait up," I yelled over my shoulder as I shut the front door behind me.

"I'm impressed," Daniel said as he gave me a once-over. I raised my eyebrows as I settled into the passenger seat. He didn't look too bad himself with jeans and a nice shirt. He still kind of looked like a little kid going to a birthday party, but I didn't say anything.

As we drove he told me all about his life in his old town and how his friend, Jacob, had been in his soccer team. He'd moved here about two months before Daniel had moved. But they'd stayed in touch and now here we were, on our way to his party.

"So, this might not be like the parties that you're used to. Jacob isn't rich, and he doesn't have maids to clean up after him. Plus, he has real alcohol, not the crap stuff that you rich folk drink." Now I knew he was teasing me.

"I'm not a snob," I said seriously.

That sobered him up. "I-I didn't mean that you were a snob! I just- I mean- argh!"

I smirked. So, he rambled when he was nervous. He relaxed when he realised that I wasn't mad at him.

"You shouldn't do that to me," he said, giving me a sideways glance. "I thought you were angry at me or something!"

I laughed. "What a wuss," I muttered.

"Hey, I heard that!"

"Heard what?" I asked, putting on an innocent face that no human man could resist.

"Jeez, don't look at me like that," he said, carefully keeping his eyes away from me.

"You're just jealous!"

"Of what?" he asked.

"My face!"

We both cracked up laughing at our stupid banter. We kept it up until we were pulling into Jacob's street. For a short while I'd managed to forget about all the stupid stuff that kept happening to me. Then I saw Tara Simmcox, a girl from my school, in the driveway and it all came rushing back. God, teenagers were so annoying.

Daniel and I walked up the driveway and I felt a bit better when I saw some guys looking at me with interest. Obviously, my outfit was working. I felt shallow, wanting guys to notice me, but I _had _to know that there wasn't anything wrong with me- at least on the outside. I'd taken some blows to my self-esteem and even though I wasn't weak, it was still a drastic change to what I was used to. Maybe I was a part of Kendall's group more than I realised. I'd always thought that I was the odd one out because I didn't take crap from Kendall. But maybe they'd changed me more than I realised.

"Hey, are you okay?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah," I said, brushing off any unwanted emotions. I looked him in the eye and smiled. "I need a drink."

After that, he led me into the house and got a drink of beer for himself and a can of UDL (an Australian pre-mix) for me. It tasted like Fanta and I sipped at it happily. I could barely taste the alcohol, but I knew that it was a strong drink.

"Rose, this is my friend Jacob," Daniel said. Jacob was tall and really skinny. His hair was brown and his eyes were brown and his clothes were brown. I started to wonder if he liked the colour brown.

"Hey Rose, nice to meet you," Jacob said. I smiled my hello and watched as Jacob's eyes fully took me in.

"I'll be back," I said to Daniel before I took my leave. When I looked over my shoulder, I could tell that they were talking about me. Jacob seemed impressed, but I couldn't work out Daniel's expression. Was it smugness? Or haughtiness? I couldn't tell.

After five minutes of wandering around, I found who I was looking for. Kate and Jeremy were sitting out the back near the tiny pool. I approached them, wondering if they would even remember me.

"Rose!" Kate exclaimed when she saw me. Her face lit up and I couldn't help but catch some of her good mood.

"Hey guys," I said in reply.

"I was wondering when you were going to show up!" Kate took in my outfit, then looked me in the eyes. She shielded Jeremy's eyes with a playful grin. "Don't look, Jeremy. I don't want you to see how smoking hot Rose is and then realise that I'm nothing compared to her."

Jeremy took her hand away from his eyes and then smiled at her. "No one is more gorgeous than you are to me," he said sweetly. I nearly 'awwwed' at their cute little moment. Kate gave him a sweet kiss and then turned her attention back to me.

"So, what's up with the outfit? I mean, people get dressed up to go to parties all the time, but it seems that you had a purpose. Are you trying to make someone jealous? Or are you on a man hunt?" Kate asked.

"Neither. I'm making a statement."

"Hmmm. Has it got anything to do with that website?"

"You mean you've seen it?" I asked as my mood pummelled into the ground like dead weight.

"Yeah, someone at my school pointed it out to me. But I know better then to believe the stories people tell, even if it's on the internet. Sometimes they make me so _mad!_"

"So it's circulating around Jackson High? As if I didn't have enough problems as it is," I said angrily.

"Don't worry. I don't think a lot of people have been paying attention to it. I think it's just the people who are jealous of Morrison High and all its rich students that pay any attention to that sort of thing."

"Still…" I muttered.

"Don't worry, Rose, I'm sure that people will come to realise that they're acting like a bunch of idiots and will leave you alone. It's not like you're purposefully hurting anyone."

"It doesn't matter. I'm tough, I can handle it," I said as I took another sip from my UDL. "Anyway, I have a CD with those photos on it for you. They turned out really well and I'll definitely use them for my portfolio. Thanks so much."

"Awesome! I'm so glad they turned out alright." I gave her the CD and she took it with a smile.

"Rose?" I turned around at the sound of my name and grinned. It was Will, standing a few feet away from me. I waved and he made his way over to me.

"Guys, this is Will. Will, this is Kate and Jeremy."

I hated introductions. Usually, they were awkward and you didn't know what to say to someone. Did you smile, wave, say hello? It always put you on the spot. But this introduction was fine. It seemed that as soon as the four of us were together, everything clicked. I wondered if this was the start of some new (and weird) friendship that involved a gay guy, a kind guy, a loud girl and a girl with a lot of problems (can you guess which one is me?).

"I pulled out my camera and snapped a photo of the three of them while they were totally unprepared. Kate instantly got angry, yelling about the insensitivity of photographers and how it was mean not to warn people before you took a picture. Jeremy tried to calm her down and Will and I simply laughed. It felt good to be included in something so carefree.

A while later, I realised that my drink was empty. I was shocked. Had I really had a whole can? I could barely remember drinking it. Was that the reason I felt so happy all of a sudden? Was I tipsy already?

"I'll be back, I'm just going to try and find Daniel. He's probably worried," I said. Kate made kissey faces while Will cracked smart-ass comments about us being boyfriend and girlfriend. I ignored their good-natured jibes and set off in search for Daniel.

I found Daniel inside, sitting on the couch with Jacob. He was so totally smashed that I could tell from across the room. He grinned at me and patted the empty spot beside him. "Kate, come here, gorgeous."

"Woah, Daniel, how are we going to get home? I'm not letting you drive," I said as I sat beside him. He instantly threw his arm around me and drew me close. I could smell the alcohol on his breath and it was kind of disgusting. Was this how I always smelt after a party? I had been trying not to drink that much today because I really wanted to change that part of me. I didn't want to rely on the people around me to take care of me. I didn't like giving up my control. But it was always the same: I ended up drinking too much, doing too much, until all of a sudden I found myself naked in someone's bed. Just once I'd like to be with someone when I was a hundred percent sober and a hundred percent sure of myself. I wanted to be myself. I wanted someone to care about me.

"Don't worry, he can crash at my house," Jacob reassured.

"Yeah, but what about me?" I asked.

"You can crash with me," Daniel said suggestively, then burst out laughing. I felt outraged, but I took into consideration that he was drunk.

"Yeah, you never say no, do you Rose?" Jacob said as he started to laugh as well.

"Excuse me?" I asked, my tone dripping with ice. I was angry. What had he just implied about me?

"C'mon Rose, we've all read that blog. You sleep with everyone. What do you say? You and me, eh?" Jacob grinned. It became apparent that he was drunk as well. If not, then I was beginning to understand why no girls were hanging around him.

I punched Jacob in the face.

Time stood still for a moment as the people around me realised what had just happened. I'd just punched the host of the party in the face and I'm pretty sure he was down for the count.

All hell broke loose. There were screams and laughter and the sound of breaking glass as everyone took advantage of an unconscious host. I felt a flush of guilt creep up my back before I remembered what he had said to me.

"Well, Rose, it's not like you to turn down a free lay," a snide voice said behind me.

I turned slowly to come face to face with the last person I wanted to see at that moment.

"Kendall, what the hell are you doing here?"

**

* * *

**

A/N: So, tell me what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

"Kendall, what the hell are you doing here?"

"This is a party, isn't it? What do you think I'm doing here?" she replied.

I took in the situation around me. Jacob was on the floor, passed out. Daniel was sitting next to me, watching me with shocked and silent eyes. He seemed disappointed in me, like I was the one in the wrong. Sure, I shouldn't have punched the guy! But he was acting like he and Jacob hadn't done anything to provoke me. God, maybe he wasn't judgemental of other people, but he was sure judgemental of me!

"What's the matter? Isn't Jacob your type? Can you only sleep with guys that already have girlfriends?" Kendall hissed.

"Shut up!" I yelled, desperate to get out of this stupid situation. Things were going awry all around me. I could tell that Jacob's guests were having way too much fun. Things had gotten out of hand and it was obvious that I would get blamed if I didn't somehow make this okay. Think! I needed to do something.

"You're a cheap whore!" Kendall yelled at me.

"I told you to shut up!" I screamed and then lunged at her. Okay, this probably wasn't the best way to make things better, but I couldn't stand listening to her anymore! She was the cause of all my problems at the moment.

I couldn't think! So I just acted instead.

"I hate you, you bitch!" Kendall screamed in my face.

I pushed her to the floor and just tried to get her to shut up.

"No one likes you! You ruin everything! You slept with my boyfriend, you slut."

"Shut up. Shut up!" Tears escaped my eyes as I fought for domination. I didn't want to hear the truth in her words. I didn't want to know how bad I was. I just wanted her to be quiet so I could fix my mistakes. I just wanted to be anywhere but here! I wanted to be listening to beautiful guitar music, or laughing with Kate, Jeremy and Will. I didn't want to be judged.

_I want to go home._

Kendall pushed me so that we rolled and she ended up on top of me. I was vaguely aware of people cat calling and yelling out stupid things. I even caught a glimpse of Daniel watching us from the sidelines. He didn't say a word and I knew that whatever direction our friendship had been heading, it was now going backwards.

"Why did you have to ruin everything?" Kendall cried. She was sobbing and clutching my hair. I started sobbing as well. I didn't understand why my emotions were suddenly taking over me. All I knew was that I was a bad, bad person. I forced my parents apart. I slept with my friend's boyfriend. I even lied to my little sister about smoking! I hadn't cried in public in so long. But here I was, sobbing and clutching onto Kendall's arms to stop her from hitting me.

"That's enough!" The voice was loud and commanding and the room fell silent straight away. I couldn't see who it was, but the voice sounded familiar. I watched as the people around me stopped what they were doing and looked in the direction of the voice.

"I've called the police. If you don't want to get into serious trouble, then I suggest you move," the voice said. Those were the magic words, because in less than a second people were scrambling out of the house. I was relieved when I realised that this would stop any further damage from occurring to the house. However, it also meant that Jacob would be in even more trouble if his parents found out about the party.

When the people cleared, I got a good look at the mysterious speaker. I recognised him straight away. My heart started pounding in my chest as I registered his dark hair and olive skin. He was standing with who I assumed, by the instrument cases at their feet, were the band. Earlier, I'd been told that they were running late. I watched him with tears in my eyes and hoped with all my heart that he wouldn't see me on the floor, fighting with a girl.

Kendall let go of me and scrambled back. She was glaring at me, but she was clearly struggling with the idea of the cops catching her.

"You're lucky," she spat after a moment. Then she stood up and straightened her outfit. Soon, she was gone from my sight. I lay on the floor for a moment, trying to regain my senses. I was still sobbing and I couldn't seem to stop.

"Rose, are you okay?" Alex asked in a soft voice. I hadn't realised that he'd bent down beside me. He was the last person I wanted to see me like this, so I started sobbing even harder. His hand reached out towards me and smoothed my hair before he helped me sit up and held me in his arms.

"What about the cops?" I managed to choke out.

"There are no cops," he said as he cradled me. Huh, it was a fast and simple way to get rid of any unwanted guests. Of course they would run.

"I think I need a cigarette," I tried to joke feebly. He laughed.

When I finally stopped sobbing, I managed to sit up by myself. Jacob was just coming around and Daniel was sitting next to him, pointedly ignoring me. I looked at Alex, sure that I must look like a train-wreck. He stood up and held out a hand, which I gently took. It felt like electricity was flowing between us when I made contact and wondered what the hell was going on.

I fixed up my outfit and hurriedly brushed my hair back so that I looked half way decent. Good thing I'd worn water-proof mascara.

"Are you all right to get home?" he asked me softly.

I glanced at Daniel. "I'll just call a taxi or something, it's okay."

"What? You live right behind me, I can give you a lift," he said nonchalantly.

"Are you sure?" I asked him hesitantly.

"Yeah, it doesn't look like there's going to be a party anyway. What's the point of sticking around?"

"I suppose," I said. I marvelled at this guy's kindness. I hardly knew him, and yet he was willing to help me. I wondered if he could feel the same electricity I was feeling.

"So, is Jacob okay?" Alex asked Daniel.

"He should be fine," Daniel said tersely. "He'll probably just have a black eye."

"What happened?" a guy standing behind Alex asked.

"Ask her," Daniel said, nodding in my direction without looking at me.

Everyone turned to me. "Uh, I kind of punched him."

"Woah," the guy behind Alex said. Alex just looked at me with a new light behind his eyes. Was he impressed? Or was he disappointed? Something made me think he was kind of proud of me.

"You're lucky you didn't break his nose!" Daniel said angrily.

"Don't act like you're all innocent!" I yelled at him. "You were saying stuff I didn't like, so I took matters into my own hands. You're lucky you don't have a broken nose!"

"Look, just get out, okay?" Daniel snapped.

"Fine, I don't want to be anywhere near you anyway!"

The band members seemed awkward, so I stormed out of the house. I was immensely glad that I didn't have to get a ride home with Daniel. He was really getting on my nerves and I couldn't tell if it was just because he was drunk or because he always got on my nerves. Argh, he could make me so _mad_!

In my haste to get away from the house, I nearly ripped a branch from a tree. I scowled at it for a second before I felt someone behind me.

"Don't you think you've done enough damage? It's not the tree's fault that that guy is a jerk," Alex said, lightly resting his hand on my shoulder. I turned to see that his eyes were filled with humour, but at the same time I could tell he was angry at Daniel.

"I'm sorry," I said. Then I broke down again. I started sobbing and he pulled me into his chest. His hands made soothing motions on my back and I just cried harder into his shirt, soaking it with my tears.

I hated crying in front of people. It was something I despised. But with the events of today, I didn't think it could be helped. Kendall had finally broken down and now I knew that she was angry at me for making her feel insecure. I hated what I'd done to her, but I didn't know if I could fix it. I'd also ruined Jacob's party, had a fight with Daniel, read a stupid website devoted to tormenting me, and dressed like a whore in case Alex or some other hot guy turned up at the party.

That's when I knew that if I really wanted to change, then I had to start doing something about it. From now on, I wasn't going to drink; at all. I wasn't going to have sex unless I was in a relationship with the guy. I was going to strive to get my parents back together or make it up to them in some way. I was going to make it up to Kendall any way that I could. I was going to pass all my classes. These were the things in my life that I needed to do to make it better.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered against Alex's shirt.

"None of this was your fault," he said reassuringly.

Oh, how wrong he was. "Everything is my fault," I said, my voice firmer. I forced myself to stop crying. This wasn't a time to be weak. Instead, I needed to be strong.

"Are you all right?" Alex asked me. His warmth was reassuring and I couldn't help but breathe in his scent. It was very masculine and made me feel a little light headed. I realised that his chest was rock hard and that he must be extremely well built. But then I made myself forget thoughts like that and focus on getting away from this place.

"I think so," I told him, unable to lie to a person that had been so kind to me.

"Let's go." Then he did the most amazing thing: he took my hand and started leading me away. His hand on mine felt exactly the way hand holding should feel. I felt myself smile in a way I hadn't smiled in a long time.

The smile left my face, though, as I noticed where he was taking me.

"You ride a motorbike?" I exclaimed.

"Yeah." I could tell he was smirking.

"Are you even allowed?" I asked.

"Well, technically, I'm not supposed to drive one with an engine this size. But I can handle it," he said with a wink as he took out two helmets.

Oh God, oh God, oh God. Why did he have to be so sexy? I wondered if he was purposely sent to Earth to torture me, especially after I'd just vowed that I wouldn't have sex unless I was in a relationship with them. I knew it was a bad thing to be thinking, but come on! You wouldn't be able to think about anything else either if you could see him now.

He placed the helmet on my head and did the straps up underneath while I just stood there, trying not to jump him. Then he put his own helmet on, got on the bike and kicked the stand, turning to look at me expectantly.

I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed for some self-control before I climbed on behind him. When he realised that I wasn't holding onto him, he took my arms and wrapped them securely around his waist.

"You'll want to hold on tight," he explained.

Then he turned the bike on and took off faster than I thought possible, down the quiet street. Being on a motorbike with the sexiest guy I'd ever seen was a lot of fun. As we sped down the street I couldn't help but scream. It felt so exhilarating to feel the wind against my body and Alex's solid abdomen against my arms. Houses sped past and in no time at all, we were pulling up into my street.

"Just go to your place," I yelled so he could hear me. "I don't think my mum would appreciate me coming home on a motorbike."

So he continued until he was pulling up into his driveway.

When he stopped the bike and pushed the stand down, I slid off. My legs were wobbly and I nearly fell over until Alex placed an arm around my waist to keep me standing. He leaned me against his bike so that I wouldn't fall over.

I took off my helmet at the same time he took off his and watched as his eyes roamed over me. I wondered if it was every guy's dream to have a girl and a motorbike in the same place. He placed the helmet on the seat next to me and then placed both of his hands on either side of me so that he was leaning into me.

My heart started thumping loudly in my chest.

"You have very beautiful eyes," he told me with his face two inches from mine.

I smiled. I'd always thought my eyes were my best feature, but it wasn't every day that I heard someone call them beautiful.

He leaned closer to me, lessening the gap between our mouths. Oh God, oh God, oh God. I tried to remind myself about the promise I'd just made myself. I also tried to think of one good reason not to let him kiss me.

I couldn't think of anything.

Just as his lips were about to touch mine, the porch light came on and I saw the curtains ruffle from the corner of my eye.

"Alex, is that you?" a voice called out and I could tell it was his mum. He groaned as he pulled away from me and we both started laughing as he quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me around the side of the house. We walked to his back fence and he smiled at me as I climbed over it. When I was on the other side, I poked my head back over and grinned at him.

"I'll talk to you later?" It sounded like he was asking a question.

"Sure. I'll see you later," I replied as I jumped down from the fence and made my way towards my own house.

Inside, my mum and sister were asleep on the couch. I turned the TV off and pulled a blanket over them both. Then I made my way to my room and stripped off my clothes. Pulling on pyjamas, I fell into bed and replayed our almost-kiss over and over in my mind.

Was he my personal temptation? I would have given anything to kiss him. But I also knew that the last thing I needed at this moment was another guy in my life, at least romantically. I had to focus on fixing my life first. Then maybe I could think of a relationship.

Did he even want a relationship? He didn't seem like the type of guy that would only want one thing. But I'd been wrong before.

I sighed and tried not to think about it too much. Surely, he was different to the other guys I knew, right? I thought of his eyes, his smell, the way he had been so nice to me, and the electricity I felt when we made physical contact. After that, I knew that he was different.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"Wake up! Daddy's coming over to take us to the mall!"

"Huh?" I groaned as I sat up in bed. Emily was bouncing up and down with excitement on the end of my bed. I stared at her for a moment, wondering if she had gone slightly crazy.

"Daddy's coming over! Get up, already," she told me as she ripped the covers from my bed and ran away giggling.

I moaned as I stumbled out of bed and made my way towards my shower. After a nice long and hot shower, I pulled on some jeans and a shirt and did my hair. When I made it downstairs my dad was waiting with Emily, who was doing laps around the house in excitement. I was surprised because, standing next to my dad, was a blonde lady with a big smile plastered on her face.

_What the hell?_ I couldn't help thinking.

"Rose, this is my friend, Jane," my dad said, beaming.

By 'friend' I knew he meant 'girlfriend'. Or were they fiancées? He was trying to ease my sister into this revelation by not telling her straight away. I shook my head, knowing that nothing ever goes to plan. She was sure to find out, and when she did…

"So, I thought I'd take you kids out shopping. What'd you say?" my dad said, clapping his hands together.

I raised my eyebrow at him. Emily started jumping up and down in excitement. I didn't know why she was getting so worked up about this. It's not like we hadn't been shopping before.

* * *

The car ride hadn't been awkward like I was expecting. Instead, Jane and Emily had chatted together for the whole ride. I could tell my dad was really happy about that and he kept shooting me looks whenever I'd give Jane a one-word answer to a question.

"How's school?" she'd asked me.

"Fine."

"What's your favourite subject?" She was persistent, that's for sure.

"Biology."

"Really? I never did Biology," she said with a smile.

"Mmmm?" Now I had resorted to sounds, not words. She got the point and started talking to Emily again.

When we arrived at the mall, Emily could hardly contain her enthusiasm. She dragged us into every single stall and convinced my dad to buy her a tonne of stuff she didn't need. I bought some new eye-makeup in light of Alex's compliment, but didn't give my dad the satisfaction of seeing me purchase anything else.

At lunch, my dad and I sat at a small table outside an Italian Restaurant. Emily had dragged Jane off to look at something and they were due to meet us at the restaurant any minute. I sat opposite my dad and wondered why he looked so nervous.

"So," he said then paused, clearing his throat. "Um, what do you think of Jane?"

I shrugged.

"C'mon Rose, can't you just give me a plain answer?" he pleaded. He looked pathetic, and I was surprised to find that I didn't like being a bitch to my dad. Well, it's not that I was surprised, I was just sure that I would be used to it by now.

"She's nice, dad," I said truthfully. "But she'll never be a second mum to me or Emily. You can't expect us to get along with her no matter how nice she is, at least for the moment. We need time." As soon as the words left my mouth I knew they were true. I still wanted my parents to be together, but I knew it was unlikely. But I still felt guilty and even if they weren't going to get back together, I wanted them to be happy. If being friendly with Jane made my dad happy, then I suppose I would have to keep that in mind for the future.

He sighed and ran a hand through his thinning hair. My parents had been young when they'd gotten married, but I could tell the separation from my mother had taken its toll on my dad. His hair was starting to grey and I could see little wrinkles near his eyes. I reached across the table and took his hand.

"Are you sure that you can't just get back together with mum?" I asked.

"Honey, we just don't love each other like we used to. I still care about her, a lot. But we can't be together anymore."

I exhaled a long breath. It was worth a shot.

"You have to tell Emily. There's no way of hiding it from her," I told him.

"I will tell her. I just wanted her to get to know Jane first," he said softly.

We both shut up as we saw Emily and Jane approaching our table. Emily was clutching a new stuffed animal and Jane looked especially happy, like Emily was her own daughter. That made me mad, but I bit my tongue and stayed silent.

* * *

When we got home, Emily ran inside, immediately gushing to my mum about all the stuff she'd bought. I stayed silent and sat on the couch. Dad and Jane came inside and my mum made them tea. It was strange to have the other woman in my house, but I tried to be nice. It was between my parents, after all. I couldn't do anything about it, no matter how frustrated that fact made me.

"Emily, did you have fun with Jane today?" my dad asked. My mother and I stiffened, watching my dad and Emily carefully.

Emily nodded her head, happily munching on a cookie.

"How would you like her to become a part of the family?" he asked carefully.

I didn't think this conversation was appropriate in front of my mum, and, as if reading my thoughts, my mum excused herself and went into the kitchen. I couldn't blame her.

"What do you mean?" Emily asked, her eyebrows furrowing in a confused sort of way.

"Well, Jane and I are going to get married. She'll become your step-mum," he said brightly.

Emily's face shut down.

"Emily?"

She stood up, shaking with rage. The transformation was so quick that I was taken aback. Her eyes were narrowed and her shoulders were tense. I wondered if she'd learnt that from me…

"I don't want another mum," she said coldly, imitating the tone of voice I used with our mum all the time.

"Honey-"

"Get away from me!" she screamed. "Get out!" Then she ran away and slammed her door, locking herself in her bedroom. "I don't want you to get married." Her voice was muffled by her door and distance. "Get out, get out, GET OUT!"

My dad's face was heartbroken and Jane looked close to tears. I felt pity for them, really, I did. Jane seemed like a nice lady. She hadn't been condescending to Emily. She hadn't overstepped her boundaries either. I sighed and stood up, giving my dad a shrug.

"Rose," my dad whispered when I had nearly made it out of the room.

"Yeah?"

"Can you…can you make sure she's all right?" His voice was pitiful and I just nodded my head.

Before I left the room, I couldn't help but glance out the window at the house behind ours. I bet Alex didn't have as much drama in his life as I did. I would give anything to be able to be with him, care-free.

* * *

Emily was sobbing on her bed. I sat down beside her and made soothing motions on her back. She was clutching her pillow. Her newest stuffed toy – the one Jane had bought her – was on the floor near the bin. It had clearly been thrown in a fit of rage.

"Mum and dad will never get back together again," she sobbed.

"No, it doesn't seem like it. But it's not the end of the world. If they don't want to be together, then there's no use trying to force them. But both mum and dad love you and will always be there whenever you need them," I reassured her. I wasn't very good at this stuff, but I was trying. I thought it was ironic that I hadn't listened to my own advice. All I'd wanted was for my mum and dad to get back together.

"I thought you liked Jane," I said after a moment of silence.

She didn't answer, so I left her room. I knew that I'd done all I could and she would soon realise that things weren't as bad as they seemed. Now I just had to do the same thing.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is a lot shorter, but I just couldn't bring myself to make it longer. It was torture to write! I had so much writer's block and it just took ages to come out. Plus, there's not much else I could've included in this chapter. Thanks for reading. Please review. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Weeks passed, and with them my sense of happiness grew. Sure, some things in my life would probably never be perfect. Daniel was ignoring me and whenever I saw him he was hanging out with his soccer friends. He never even looked at me, so it was hard to say what his emotions were. But I did get a glimpse one rainy afternoon when we were both sitting on the front steps of the school, waiting for the rain to ease up.

When I saw him approaching, I had no idea how to react. When he saw me, he flinched and I could tell that he was considering turning around. I ignored him because I was still angry about the things he'd said to me.

He surprised me, though. Instead of running like the little girl he was, he joined me on the steps. He was sitting as far away from me as possible, staring out into the wet car park.

"Congratulations on not being a pussy," I told him sarcastically.

He stiffened and gave me a murderous glare. "What?" he demanded.

"You heard me. This must be the first time you've seen me and not run away like a little girl. Am I that scary?"

He spat onto the wet cement. "I'm not going to have this conversation with you," he said coldly.

"Get off your high horse! I may have punched your friend, but you made insinuations about me that weren't very nice. I don't recall doing anything to you!"

"I didn't say anything that you haven't heard before!"

"So that makes it okay?" I demanded.

He was silent, glaring out towards his car.

I stood up and slowly walked through the rain until I reached my car. I didn't want him to think that I was running away: that was his job. So I stayed calm and held my head high.

After that, whenever I saw Daniel there was a different expression on his face. I couldn't figure out exactly what it was, but it was a lot sadder then before. I kept thinking it was regret, but I couldn't tell for certain.

On the other hand, Kendall broke up with her boyfriend. I was both happy and sad about this revelation: happy because he was a cheating jerk that didn't deserve her, sad because I knew it was my fault that he had cheated. I had no idea if he had cheated on her before I came along, but I knew it was still my fault they had broken up. It felt weird knowing that I still had her best interests at heart, even though she had been a total bitch to me for the past few weeks. I suppose I would be a bitch to the person who slept with my boyfriend as well.

On the positive side, Will, Kate, Jeremy and I were becoming really good friends. Will and I would sit together at lunch and in classes. We were mostly inseparable, which made it harder for people to verbally abuse me. This was mainly because everyone liked Will and no one wanted to get on his bad side. He was so charming and nice that he managed to even get people to leave me alone. It was a shame he was gay, otherwise he might have been the solution to all my guy troubles.

Most days, after school, we'd meet up with Kate and Jeremy at a small coffee shop conveniently situated between both of our schools. It was cosy and had _really _good cookies to go with the caffeine. We were well known by the staff by this point and they knew exactly what I usually ordered, although I changed it sometimes just to keep them on their toes.

"Doesn't it get boring, going to that preppy school every day?" Kate asked one afternoon.

"Boring? When Rose is your friend? No way. Everyday is full of drama and anticipation. Today was a bit unoriginal, though. They attacked her locker again. I thought they could come up with something more amusing," Will said.

I said, "I'm glad _you're _amused."

He grinned at me, batting his eyelashes. "You know I love you."

I shoved him away playfully.

"Have you been taking any more photos, Rose?" Jeremy asked me, his arm wrapped around Kate.

"Yeah, I've got a few for my portfolio. A lot seem to be of me and Will posing, though," I admitted sheepishly.

Will just grinned.

It was then that we decided to have a group photo. One of the waitresses took the photo for us and we all crowded around to look at it afterwards. It was nice – all of us had our arms around each other, smiling and laughing. Jeremy was kissing Kate's cheek and Will was doing a ridiculous pose. I couldn't stop smiling as we all settled down into our usual booth again.

"Hey, isn't that Lover Boy?" Will said, looking through the window. I followed his gaze and blushed when I saw Alex pulling into an empty car space on his motorbike. I wondered how long it had been since I'd blushed because of a boy. I had never gotten this tingly feeling when I had been with any of my ex-boyfriends.

"Yeah, just get married already," Kate teased.

"Says you!" I said, indicating how Kate was practically sitting on Jeremy's lap. They laughed and I tried to relax as Alex walked into the small café.

"Go talk to him," Kate hissed at me.

I glared at her.

It turned out that before long, Alex spotted me anyway. He walked over, smiling, and pulled up a chair.

"How are you guys?" he asked.

"Good," my friends all chorused at the same time. I glared at them. They were making this so awkward!

"Good," I muttered a beat after them.

He gave me a special smile that made my legs turn to jelly.

Don't get confused, we weren't going out or anything like that! Every afternoon I would go over to Alex's house and we would sit and talk and flirt. But we never came close to kissing again and I think he realised that I wasn't really ready for a relationship yet. I just needed to focus on getting my life back on track. But we had become close friends and sometimes it felt like he could read me like a book.

"Oh. Rose," Kate said in a stilted voice. "What a coincidence that you didn't bring your car today. Maybe, instead of me driving you home, because it's not on my way, Alex could drop you home! Isn't that perfect?" Will and Jeremy were trying not to laugh while I just glared at Kate.

"That is a coincidence," Alex said, playing along. He was smirking and I felt my heart beat erratically. He had such a sexy smirk. "I would love to give you a lift home," he said to me.

I'm pretty sure my heart stopped beating.

"O-Okay," I said. Oh God, why did he have to be so sexy?

Riding on Alex's motorbike is one of the most fun things I've ever done. I love the feeling of the wind against my skin and being pressed against Alex. I think he enjoys it too. He always makes sure that I'm holding on tightly; maybe a bit too tightly.

He pulled up into his driveway and we made our way to his backyard. He had two lawn chairs out the back that we always sat on to talk and flirt. Flirting with Alex was the most exhilarating experience I'd ever had. Mainly because he knew how to flirt back! He could have my heart beating a thousand miles a minute by only looking at me! It felt so good and so wrong, because I knew that he was a 'bad boy' – which probably wasn't the best influence on my life.

"Are you going to tell me why that Kendall girl was fighting you?" he asked after a while. I knew this question had been coming, but it still put a major damper on my mood.

"Haven't you seen that website about me?" I asked spitefully. I wasn't directing my irritation at him – just the world in general.

"I have, actually. But I wanted to hear it from you."

I looked at him, surprised. "You- you've read that stupid website?" I asked. I hated how weak my voice sounded.

"Rose, I know that you're not a horrible person. I also know that everyone makes mistakes. I just want to know how you feel about the whole thing. Have you been coping?"

That was probably the sweetest thing I'd heard in a long time. I remembered what Daniel's reaction to my scandal was. He'd judged me and been quick to disapprove. Alex, on the other hand, had just told me that he just wanted to know if I was alright.

"Well, I'm coping better now that I have Will, Kate and Jeremy. They make going to school worth it, even though two of them don't even go to my school," I said slowly.

"I wish I could be there for you," he said quietly.

Our eyes locked and if my heart hadn't already melted the first time I'd met him, it would have melted again.

"You are," I replied. "Every afternoon. When I come over here, I can forget all the bad stuff that's happening in my life."

He smiled.

"I'm still trying to make it up to Kendall, but it's hard when she won't speak to me. I don't know what to do to make it better."

"Maybe you could give her something. Like a memento of your friendship or something," he suggested with a shrug.

I thought about it and then smiled. "That's an awesome idea. I know just the thing."

After spending the afternoon with Alex, I usually went home and spent some quality time with my sister. She loved it when I let her use my camera and she would often ask me to do a photo shoot for her. We would take turns taking photos of each other doing stupid poses and sometimes we'd even get dressed up in different clothes. I loved when we would spend time together. I was glad that our parent's divorce hadn't affected our relationship with each other. Emily seemed to ignore the subject of my dad and Jane. I didn't know how to react to that.

At night, when the world was calm and silent, I would strain my ears to hear the beautiful guitar music coming from another house. Every week it seemed to get even more beautiful and I could even hear lyrics this time. Slowly, a piece of music was being put together and I was just glad I could be a part of it just by listening every night.

Maybe my life would get on track soon.

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter is a bit shorter because it is reflective and not much happens. The next one will be more eventful, promise. **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I'm back at school so updates might be a bit slower from now on. But I'll try my best to keep this story updated as quickly as possible. **

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

I was on my way to class when it happened. I was turning a corner when Kendall and I ran into each other – literally. Our books went everywhere and we spent a few minutes trying to collect what was ours.

"Sorry," we muttered to each other at the same time.

We both straightened up and looked at each other. I saw some hatred in her eyes, but it was buried deep down, like she was trying to repress it. I also saw that she was struggling with something, like she wanted to say something. I waited, silently urging her to get it off her chest.

"Um, I'm sorry about the party the other week. I didn't mean to – I mean…" she started.

We'd been ignoring each other for a long time, I realised. It'd been weeks since our fight at the party (which the whole school heard about the next day, of course) and neither of us had said a word to each other since then.

"I shouldn't have fought you, I'm sorry," I said to her.

We were both silent for a moment, and I liked it. It was better than hate brewing between us and jealously overcoming us. I revelled in it while it lasted.

"I'm glad to hear about your boyfriend," I said, then braced myself. I wasn't sure if bringing up Brett was such a good idea at this time. But I wasn't really one to think through what I said.

She swallowed. "Um, yeah. I realised that being with him was a mistake. I found out that he slept with other girls, not just you," she said quietly. I could tell it was a lot for her to say to someone like me, but I appreciated it.

"Oh, I'm sorry. And I really am sorry about me and him…"

"It's all right, I suppose. It's in the past now, anyway," she said.

I looked at her and smiled. She was being a better person than I expected from someone like her. She was so used to controlling every situation and holding grudges, but she had practically just told me that she forgave me. A strange sense of pride overwhelmed me, directed at her. I guessed it was my old fondness for her as a friend shining through.

"You're a better person than I am," I told her. "I probably would have never forgiven me in your situation."

"You probably wouldn't have gotten in the situation in the first place," she told me. "You know what you want and you take it. I have no idea what I want," she said truthfully.

"You'll figure it out one day," I said softly.

A steely determination came over her eyes as I watched and I wondered what she was thinking about. "I hope you know that I didn't start that stupid website," she said, clenching her fists at the thought. "But I plan to find whoever did it and put a stop to it. Your family and friends don't deserve to be written about by someone who doesn't even know you. I thought it was a coward's way of trying to demoralise you," she hissed.

"Thanks." I didn't really know what to say.

"Look, let's forget this stupid fight we've been having. How about we just become acquaintances and go from there?" she said.

I nodded in agreement.

"Here, I have something for you," I said, digging in one of my books until I found it. It was a photo of us, both dressed up in Halloween costumes before we'd gone out to a party. She was an angel and I was a devil. We were both hugging each other tightly and grinning at the camera. "I thought you might like it, you know, to have something to remember."

She took it from me and once she looked at it, her face softened. She placed it inside one of her books carefully, as if it might dissolve any second. "Thanks," she said.

She smiled at me and we both made our way to class, feeling a lot better about ourselves. It felt good to resolve a fight. I didn't really know exactly how it happened, but Kendall and I, after one little conversation, had worked out whatever had gone terribly wrong between us. It seemed unreal, but sometimes things just unravelled with time.

* * *

It was raining again after school and I sat on the back steps, waiting for it to ease up. Everyone else had already abandoned the school, while I'd stayed back to research for Biology. Now I sat and watched the rain drip from the roof and the puddles in the middle of the car park grow larger. I always loved the rain. It was soothing and natural.

"Rose?" The voice was hesitant, as if scared of my reaction. I turned to find Daniel standing behind me with his hands in his pockets, looking meek.

"Yes?" My answer was short – to the point.

"Uh…" He looked past me, out to the rain covered car park. He looked ragged, like he hadn't had a proper night's sleep in a long time. I felt a twinge somewhere near my heart and realised that I felt sorry for him. Which was totally ridiculous, right?

"I know I've been a dickhead," he said slowly, testing the words in his mouth before they came out. "And I'm really sorry for how I've behaved. But I'd really like to apologise for saying those things I said to you at the party a few weeks ago. I was drunk and I didn't mean it and…" He trailed off, avoiding my gaze.

Wow, two apologies in one day. What was going on? I looked at him, trying to decide whether he was sincere or not. His shoulders were slumped and his head was bent in defeat. I could tell he meant what he had said. But it didn't mean that I still wasn't mad at him.

"What brought this on?" I couldn't resist asking.

"I realised how stupid I was being and how much I like you," he said, finally meeting my eyes. He looked so _tortured. _

"Look, Daniel, I know you were drunk at the party and that you wouldn't have said it if you were sober," I said.

His eyes lit up with hope. "You mean, you forgive me?" he asked eagerly.

"Umm." '_Forgive' _was a strong word. Maybe '_understand' _was better suited.

"Will you let me make it up to you?" he asked, running a hand through his hair.

"Um, I guess," I replied. He looked desperate, so I couldn't find it within myself to turn him down. I hadn't forgiven him yet, but I wasn't going to deny him the chance to make it up to me.

"I'll pick you up tonight at 7 and we'll go out. I'll pay for everything," he said, looking excited and nervous and hopeful.

"Okay," I said with a sigh. He beamed at me. I felt a churning in my stomach and wondered if this was such a good idea.

"You won't regret this." He sounded like a little kid and I couldn't help but smile. When the rain eased up we both made our way to our cars. The whole meeting had reminded me so much of when we'd last ran into each other on the steps of the school. We'd been fighting then. But now he was apologising. I just hoped that he really was as sorry as he sounded.

* * *

Daniel arrived at my house at 7 sharp. He was dressed nicely, in jeans and a button-up shirt. His hair looked neater than usual and I noticed that he was wearing more aftershave than I'd ever noticed him wearing before.

He complimented my outfit – a dark blue dress that reached just past my knees and black dressy heels. I couldn't shake the feeling that this was some sort of date. He even insisted that I introduce him to my mother, who was all too thrilled to actually meet a boy that I was spending time with. She seemed kind of smitten with him and I realised exactly how charming he could be.

"I thought we'd get a bite to eat and then catch a movie," he told me once we were in the car.

"Uh, sure," I said, feeling more awkward by the second.

He smiled at me and I felt reassured. He had a beautiful smile. It made him look handsomer. His face was transformed from looking cute to actually looking handsome.

We ended up eating at McDonalds after I'd assured him that this was quite all right. He had wanted to go to a restaurant, but I'd quickly jumped in to dissuade him. I didn't think I could handle going to a restaurant when this already felt too much like a date. Maybe it was.

I actually enjoyed myself as we ate and talked. I had forgotten how charming he could be. I felt myself relaxing around him, finally accepting that he was serious about apologising to me. When we left McDonalds and walked towards his car, our arms brushed and I didn't mind the contact.

"So, what movie?" he asked.

I scanned the titles and shrugged.

He ended up choosing a chick flick, which surprised me. But I quickly dissuaded him, again. I was _not _in the mood for a chick flick. So instead I chose a thriller movie. He seemed surprised at my choice, but shrugged and went with it. It turned out to be full of gore and bad costumes. I didn't mind, but I think Daniel wasn't prepared to see so many decapitated heads and limbless bodies. I think I saw him jump a couple of times.

After the movie, we bought ice cream and walked for a while. It was a full moon and I marvelled at how bright it was. Daniel lent me his jacket when I got cold and I kept flashing back to the dates I'd seen in movies. Tonight had gone so smoothly, so perfectly. I felt all giddy and happy for some unknown reason.

"So, have you forgiven me?" Daniel asked.

"Hmm," I teased, placing my finger on my chin.

"Don't torture me!" he said with a laugh.

"Well, this has bee fun. I guess I believe your sincerity. I _suppose _I can forgive you."

Daniel's face turned serious. "I really didn't mean to say those things to you. I can't believe how drunk I was."

I laughed, remembering. "You were pretty drunk."

I finished my ice cream and we made our way back towards his car. He'd paid for the entire night, against my protests, and I'd really enjoyed myself. I guess I was glad I'd given him another chance. I hated fighting with people. After my reconciliation with Kendall, and now Daniel, I felt so much better. Like maybe now I could actually be happy.

Daniel walked me to my door and we ended up sitting on my doorstep, talking. I caught up on what had happened after I'd left the party all those weeks ago. Apparently, Jacob had been out all night. But in the morning they'd managed to clean up the house so that nothing looked amiss. Jacob had been really grateful to Alex for saving his house from being damaged any further. I guessed that Daniel had filled Jacob in on Alex's rescue, because he had been out cold. I was glad to hear that his parent's had never suspected a thing. I never wanted him to get in trouble.

When it was getting late and everything in the street was still, we both stood up. The whole night had been fun and I really felt like we had gotten over our little fight. He'd said something he didn't mean. I'd punched his friend. Now we could move past that.

"So, I'll see you at school?" I said.

"Yeah."

We stood like that for a moment, only a foot apart. I wondered what he was doing, until I saw it in his eyes. Quicker than I could react, he leant down and kissed me. I didn't know how to react, so I stood there, letting him kiss me. It was nice, comforting, but there was no spark whatsoever. It was like kissing your best friend, not your lover. Which made sense, considering we weren't lovers.

However, when he pulled away, I could tell he thought something entirely different. His expression was one of awe, like he'd just had the best kiss of his life. I nearly groaned when I saw him look at me like that. I had hardly even kissed him back!

To make matters worse, I thought I heard him mutter, "Wow."

I had to admit though; it had been a nice kiss. It wasn't gross or too weird. It just lacked _oomph_. I should've seen it coming. The whole night had felt like a date, and he'd just ended it in a typical way. It didn't subtract from the nice time I'd had earlier, but now I was just confused and a little worried about what he thought the whole thing meant.

"Um, sorry about that. Uh, I'll see you later." Then he practically ran down the path towards his car. I watched him go, trying to get my mind back together so I could figure this thing out. But my mind wasn't listening to me and I couldn't think clearly. I was so surprised and so stunned that all I could do was slowly make my way towards my room and get ready for bed.

If someone was playing a guitar tonight, I couldn't hear them. My mind was full of whirling thoughts that didn't make sense. So instead I just had a shower and curled up in bed with one of my favourite books to try and take my mind off of the kiss.

I wondered if school was going to be awkward now. Was he expecting a relationship? Would he avoid me like before? Or would we just be friends? It hurt to think about it so much, so I just tried my best to get to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: This is about the half-way mark for this story. Please review and tell me what you think! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

The next day at school, Daniel and I pretended that nothing had happened the previous night. I was tired, because I'd stayed out so late on a school night. I'd even been surprised that my mum had let me go out. But I'd quickly woken up when it came time to go to school. I had apprehensions about how Daniel would behave around me. It was nearly so bad that I didn't turn up to school.

But when I'd joined Will and glanced over at Daniel, who was sitting with his soccer friends, he simply blushed and looked away. Throughout the day I kept running into him and we would talk quickly, then we would go our separate ways. It became clear that he was pretending that he'd never kissed me. He avoided the topic and simply smoothed everything over with his charm.

I was glad to know that I didn't have to deal with that particular discussion. I liked it better if he just didn't bring it up - at least for the moment. I needed more time to figure out exactly how I felt about it.

Will insisted on hearing every single little detail about our 'date'. He'd noticed that I'd been acting weird around Daniel and then he'd wheedled the story out of me. C'mon, it was impossible to resist that guy! He could get a mute person to talk.

So for the rest of the day I had to put up with Will's teasing and Daniel's conversations. Then we arrived at the coffee shop down the street and Will ended up telling Kate and Jeremy all about my 'date' and then I had to put up with even more teasing and jibes.

"I thought you and Alex were an item!" Kate huffed.

"He kissed me, not the other way around!" I said defensively.

"And Alex hasn't asked her out yet," Will added.

"What do you think he's going to think when he finds out that you went on a date with Daniel?" Jeremy asked.

"It wasn't a date!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, he might be upset. Then he'll never ask you out!" Kate sounded truly devastated by this.

"I don't even want a relationship!"

"We'll just have to make sure he doesn't find out," Will said loudly.

It was clear that no one was listening to me.

"Guys, shut up! There's nothing going on with Daniel and I, just like there's nothing going on with Alex and I. So it doesn't matter if he hears anything, because it's not like we're together anyway."

Now they were listening.

"Doesn't look like it to me," Kate said after a moment of silence.

I scowled. Then the argument started over again and I knew there was no point trying to stop them from talking about my complicated (and, in my opinion, non-existent) love life.

* * *

"So then he kissed you?" Alex asked, eyebrows raised. We were sitting on chairs in his backyard, like we did every afternoon.

I figured that if Alex was going to find out that someone had kissed me, I might as well be the one to tell him. I didn't want him to find out from someone else (like my loud-mouth friends) and then think I'd been keeping it from him.

"Yeah. It was totally unexpected. The whole night had felt like a date, and then he'd kissed me on my door step. It felt really weird."

"So, are you two going out now?" he asked, his voice indifferent.

"God, no!" I exclaimed in a manner that made him smile. "We spent the whole day today skirting around the subject, pretending it never happened. It was awkward, to say the least."

"He sounds like he keeps sending mixed messages. One second he's ignoring you, the next he's kissing you." There was something off about the way Alex was speaking. I looked at him carefully, trying to decipher his reaction to my story.

"He does send mixed messages. But it's not like I'm interested in being in a relationship with him," I said, watching him carefully.

He smirked.

"He doesn't sound like your type," he said smugly after a moment.

"Oh, but he used to be my type. I've dated a lot of guys like him."

I saw his fist clench.

I smiled at him. "Can I use your bathroom?" The question seemed to surprise him, because he blinked a few times before answering with a 'yes'. He showed me inside, down a hallway, and past the kitchen. A tall woman with long brown hair was standing at the sink, rinsing out a glass.

"Hey mum, this is Rose," Alex said to the woman.

She turned around and smiled at me, taking me in. In return, I smiled at her and looked at her outfit. She was dressed like a total hippy in a long gypsy skirt and a tie died shirt. She had a bandana in her hair and large earrings in the shape of the peace sign.

"Hello, Rose. I've heard a lot about you," she said to me, giving me a huge hug. I didn't know what to say to that, so I just smiled and muttered a 'thanks'.

"Are you hungry, dear? I could make some snacks," she said as she let me go. She smelled like incense and cigarettes.

"Oh, I'm fine," I said politely.

"Nonsense, I think I've got some cookies somewhere in the cupboard," she said with a wave of her hand.

"How come you never get cookies out for just me?" Alex asked playfully.

"Because then I wouldn't have any for when guests are over," she said as she rummaged through the cupboards.

"Come on, the toilet is this way," Alex said, leading me towards another hallway. He showed me to the toilet and then told me he'd be waiting outside.

On the way back outside, I paused outside a bedroom and peered in. It was obviously Alex's room, judging by the black décor and posters up on the wall. In the corner of the room, propped up on a stand, was a guitar. I flashed back to the party, when he'd been standing with the band; then to the mysterious guitar music that I heard every night. Could it be…?

I walked inside and picked up the guitar, weighing it in my hands. It was a nice looking acoustic that had a nice gloss. If I didn't know better, I would have assumed it was new. But judging by the quality of sound I'd been hearing for the past few weeks, I knew it wasn't. Alex just seemed like the type of person to have a guitar for a long time.

I carried it with me as I navigated my way back outside. It felt good in my hands, like it belonged. When I came outside holding it, Alex immediately gave me a wary look, as if he was worried about something. A box of cookies was sitting on the table between our chairs.

"So, you play?" I inquired.

"Occasionally," he said casually.

"At night?"

He squinted at me, trying to figure out what was going on. "Uh, yeah."

"Will you play for me?" I asked him as I resumed sitting in my designated chair.

"Well, that depends," he said, still wary.

"On what?"

"On what you'll give me." He looked mischievous now.

I considered this for a moment, watching him closely. "Okay, I'll give you something."

"Will I like it?" he asked, smirking his sexy smirk.

"I hope so," I told him.

"Okay then." I passed him the guitar and he went about tuning it like a pro. I watched his fingers as he strummed each string and twisted the pegs. I was so focused on what he was doing that I didn't realise he was looking at me.

"What?" I asked, a little defensively.

"Nothing. You just looked really intent for a while." I blushed from his words and quickly turned away so he wouldn't see.

"I like the guitar," I said evasively.

When my face had stopped burning, I turned my chair so that it was opposite his and watched as he rearranged the guitar. "Okay, so I've been working on this for a while. It's not finished, though, so don't laugh."

"I'm not going to laugh," I said, exasperated.

"And I don't usually sing, either. There is a possibility you will laugh."

"I'm sure you have a beautiful voice," I reassured him.

"And-"

"Just play me a song," I said, interrupting whatever he was about to say. "Please."

He shut his mouth and looked straight into my eyes. "Okay, here goes."

Then his fingers started moving and the beautiful melody that I recognised as my late night lullaby started to play. So he _was_ the person who'd been playing the guitar at night all this time.

I watched the melody unfold. It was a lot more complicated than I'd realised, because Alex's fingers were moving fast up and down the frets. I closed my eyes, listening to this familiar tune. I was lost in the pretty chords and sweet notes, until I heard him sing.

His voice was beautiful and rich, everything I'd expected it to be. He sang lyrics about a girl with beautiful eyes. The lyrics also spoke of a blooming rose that took everyone's breath away. I listened to his sweet lyrics and watched his fingers hit all the right notes. Then, when he was finished, I found myself speechless, staring into his eyes.

"What did you think?" he asked.

I swallowed, searching for words. "It was…It was beautiful. It's what lulls me to sleep every night," I admitted.

"You can hear me playing from your room?" he asked, surprised.

I just nodded my head.

We sat in silence for a moment while I tried to absorb the song he'd just sung to me.

"Who is it about?" I asked after a moment.

He smirked at me, meeting my eyes. "I thought it was obvious."

I let that sink in too as we both looked away from each other. I tried to breathe properly again, but I thought that maybe my breathing patterns had been changed forever, just by that simple song.

"So, what are you going to give me in return?" Alex asked, breaking the silence between us.

I smiled at him, meeting his bright blue eyes. I stood up from my seat and took the step that would bring me in front of his. I took the guitar from him, gently placing it on the ground beside his chair, then straddled his lap. He seemed surprised, but not unhappy. No, he seemed quite the opposite.

"I have never heard such a beautiful song," I told him as I made myself comfortable on his lap.

"Really? I thought tonnes of guys would have written songs about you," he said, resting his hands on my thighs.

"Well, there was one guy, Dexter, but that was years ago and we didn't last very long," I told him.

"Mmm? Well, he missed out, didn't he?"

I felt the urge to brush some of his hair out of his face, so I did just that. I liked the feel of my fingers in his hair. I knew that I was still drunk from his amazing song and that I had a lot more nerve than I usually would around him.

"So, what were you going to give me?" he asked again, his voice quieter.

"This," I said. Then I leaned down and kissed him. Right there, in his backyard.

It was totally different to Daniel's kiss. This kiss had everything (and more) that Daniel's kiss had lacked. It was like fireworks were going off inside my head. My whole body felt on fire and all I could feel was Alex. I pressed myself closer to him, tilting my head so that we could get a better angle. He was kissing me back, and, soon enough, his hands had travelled to my hips and mine were in his hair.

It was the best kiss I'd ever had.

When we pulled apart, we just stayed there, staring into each other's eyes. Until he leaned up and pulled me into another kiss. This one lasted even longer and made my spine tingle. It was slower, more like liquid fire slowly engulfing my body.

We stayed like that for a while, kissing and flirting and kissing again. Sometimes the kisses were faster, more passionate, other times they were slower and more caressing. But I found that I couldn't get enough of him and that even if I stayed exactly where I was for the rest of my life, I still wouldn't get sick of kissing Alex.

When I finally had to go home, Alex held my hand and gave me one last kiss. Then he was helping me over the fence and waving goodbye. That night, I lay on my bed, touching my swollen lips. Even thinking of our kisses made goose-bumps appear on my skin. I could hear the song he wrote for my drifting through my window, slowly lulling me to sleep. I went to bed smiling; because I was the happiest I'd been in a long time.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

When I woke up that morning, the first thing I did was roll out of bed, get changed, and grab my camera. When I looked in the mirror, I realised that I had a huge ridiculous grin on my face and I felt the happiest I'd been in ages. So without much further thought, I jumped in my car and headed towards the rainforest.

On the outskirts of town, there is a protected rainforest area that plenty of tourists visit. The atmosphere is perfect for taking pictures and the limited lighting really adds affect. So I made a donation and then traipsed through the forest, taking photos and swatting mosquitoes. It was worth it in the end because I got some beautiful shots that I could definitely add to my portfolio for university.

* * *

"Where have you been?" I blinked, closing the front door behind me and glancing at my mum. She was sitting in the kitchen, wrapped in a robe. I wandered over to her, trying to work out why, the second I'd gotten through the door, mum had yelled at me.

"I went to the rainforest to do some photography," I said when I was closer to her.

"Bullshit! I've been worried sick. I thought to myself: Oh, she hasn't been sneaking out anymore; she's actually been sleeping at home. But here I find you creeping through the door with dirty clothes and mussed hair. What do you have to say for yourself?"

I was actually speechless. I glanced down at what I was wearing: faded jeans and an old shirt. Okay, so I hadn't exactly worried about what I was wearing this morning and some of my clothes were a bit dirty from creative photography in the forest (photography could involve a lot of squatting and lying on the ground). I ran a hand through my hair and found a leaf.

"Mum, I was seriously at the rainforest. I've been working on my portfolio for uni, just in case I want to do photography," I said.

My mum gave me a doubtful look.

"So how come I haven't been seeing you until night time? What have you been doing in the afternoons?"

"Hanging out with my friends," I told her with a 'duh' expression on my face.

"Well, I want to meet these 'friends'." She stood up and came to stand near me. She sniffed my shirt and then my hair and finally stepped away from me. "I'll let you off this time, only because I can't smell any alcohol. But if you so much as break curfew again…"

"Mum, I don't have a curfew," I reminded her.

"Well, I want you home all night, every night, unless you ask my permission to go somewhere first," she said. "I don't like getting worried when I don't know where you are."

"Mum, I have been home all night for the last few weeks!" This was so _frustrating. _

"Fine, but I want to meet your friends. You can invite them over for a barbeque tonight. We're going to have a celebration for your father's engagement."

"What? Isn't it a bit soon for him to be getting engaged again?" I asked as my heart started hammering in my chest.

"It's true that we only signed the divorce papers a few weeks ago, but we were separated for a while before that. About a year, I think it was. If he wants to get married again, I don't have a problem with it," she said. But I was sure she _did _have a problem with it. The way she avoided my eyes and spoke to the floor just proved this.

"Fine. I'll invite my friends and attend. But I don't know if I have it in me to actually congratulate him," I stated.

"Good. Now go tell your sister."

* * *

It was funny how family could ruin your good mood. I'd been all happy and tingly this morning just thinking about the day before. I could feel Alex's lips against mine and I could imagine running my fingers through his hair. I'd never felt as good as I'd felt this morning. But then my mum had pulled me down from cloud nine without even considering my feelings. I knew she had proper reason to suspect that I'd been out drinking, but it sort of felt like she should know that I'd been changing my life. It was so obvious to everyone else, but she couldn't see how I'd changed.

Old friends of my family had been rocking up all afternoon for the barbeque. I thought it was kind of weird that we were having a celebration at my house, but my mum seemed to like having get togethers, even if they were for other people. It was good to know that she could still consider herself as my dad's friend.

Finally, Kate and Jeremy showed up. I greeted them out the front of my house and went through a great deal to introduce them to my mum. Lots of middle aged people with nothing better to do would stop me and tell me stories about when I was little. I nearly screamed in frustration while Kate and Jeremy stifled their laughter. Finally, I managed to drag them over to my mum, who was looking at the grill like it was a foreign creature.

"Mum, these are my friends, Kate and Jeremy."

"Nice to meet you," Kate and Jeremy both mumbled politely.

"Well, hello! It's nice to meet you too," my mother said cheerily. I could see her assessing them subtly, trying to decide if she liked them or not. She seemed surprised at how polite and nicely presented they were. But she knew not to judge people just by their covers. Who knows, Kate and Jeremy could be drug crazed teenagers!

After a moment my mum seemed to relax, obviously deeming Kate and Jeremy as suitable company for her daughter. I rolled my eyes and dragged Kate and Jeremy to a group of chairs haphazardly placed on the yard.

Will arrived next, and I had to go through the whole introduction to my mum again. We all sat out the back, talking and gossiping while the adults did exactly the same thing. My dad had arrived with a shy Jane and he'd introduced her to everyone. My sister seemed to be slowly getting over the shock of my father's announcement and was swimming in the pool with her best friend from school.

"Okay, so no offence or anything, but isn't it a bit weird that your mum is having an engagement party at her house for her ex?" Kate asked.

"I know, right? I think she's trying to prove a point. Like she's not affected at all, or something like that. It's stupid, but I suppose it's better then them ignoring each other and always fighting," I said.

Kate shrugged. "Adults…" she sighed, as if this explained everything.

"Smile!" my sister said as she raised _my_ camera to her eye and took a photo of us.

"What are you doing with my camera?" I exclaimed, clenching my fists. "Do you have any idea how much that is worth?"

Emily just giggled and ran away. At least she'd dried herself off after being in the pool before touching my camera.

"So, where's lover boy?" Will asked when he saw me glancing towards Alex's house. I shot him a look that didn't faze him in the least.

"You should go get him. He's missing out," Kate piped in.

"He might feel excluded," Jeremy agreed.

I looked back towards my fence and felt butterflies in my stomach. He was just beyond that ugly fence, probably playing his guitar. Or maybe he was with his mum. Or maybe he was sitting in his chair, listening to the festivities coming from my house. I sighed.

"I'll be right back," I said as I made my way towards my back fence.

When I poked my head over the fence and surveyed his backyard I was surprised to find that he was sitting in his chair, playing his guitar. It was just like I'd imagined.

He looked up and smiled when he saw my face. I grinned at him, gripping onto the fence with all my might.

"Well, are you coming over or not?" I asked with a teasing tone.

"I didn't think I was invited," he replied, putting his guitar down and giving me a flirtatious look.

"Of course you are. You have to meet my mum. She's worried I've been spending all my time with bad influences."

"Aren't I a bad influence?" he asked.

"The worst," I replied.

He smirked and then stood up. He leapt the fence easily and in no time at all he was in my yard, looking more handsome than ever. He surprised me by taking my hand in his and giving me a warm smile. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach and a tingly sensation that was shooting down my spine.

I led him to my mum and introduced Alex. She looked at him for a long time, taking in his old jeans and beaten motorcycle jacket. These were the things I found sexy about him, but my mother obviously didn't. I could tell she didn't like the look of him and I wondered if she would ever be able to accept him.

Before long, Alex and I were around the side of the house where it was quiet and deserted. We were making out and it felt better than anything else in the world. We were close – closer than we'd ever been to each other – and it seemed impossible to get any closer. I could feel his heart beat through his shirt and could smell his scent. Everything about him was amazing and just made my blood run hot.

But then my sister came running around the corner and caught us making out. Then she promptly started taking photos of us as 'evidence' (her words). Then Alex and I were laughing and she was still taking photos.

"Dinner's ready!" she yelled when she was done with the camera.

Slowly, Alex and I made our way towards the dinner table out the back. We were holding hands again (which didn't escape the notice of Will, Kate and Jeremy) and I was feeling happy, like every other time I was with Alex.

However, my good mood came crashing down when I had to sit and listen to my dad raving about his new wife right in front of my mum! Everyone was around the table eating the sausages and steak that had been cooked on the barbeque. I could see my mum trying to ignore my dad, but it was obvious that she wasn't succeeding.

"We're going to have a huge white wedding - but not in a church. We were thinking that we could get married along the beach. Or maybe even in a park, with flowers and everything," my dad was saying to a very fat man who used to baby-sit me when I was a toddler.

After another ten minutes of non-stop talk about the wedding, I couldn't stand it.

"Shut up!" I yelled. The whole table went silent at my angry outburst.

"Rose?" my dad asked, taken aback.

"Stop talking about your wedding when my mum is sitting only a few feet from you! Do you think she appreciates you talking about another woman when you used to love her? I can't believe you're being so inconsiderate!"

Everyone stared at and I felt my face flush. But I didn't care. I wanted him to know how I felt.

"You only signed the divorce papers a few weeks ago and already you're getting married!" Jane looked appalled and so sad. But I had to get this off of my chest, no matter who I hurt. "I'm not happy, dad! I just want things to go back to how they were. I want us to be a family again."

So quiet that no one but Alex (who was sitting next to me) could hear, I said, "I'm sorry." Because I knew this outburst was a result of the guilt I felt for breaking them up in the first place. This whole thing was my fault. I just wished there was something I could do about it.

"Rose, that's enough!" my mother said, her face red. I was surprised. I wasn't expecting her to be the one to scold me.

I stared at her for what felt like a long time. She looked genuinely angry – and not at my father, but me.

I turned my back on the table and walked away, head held high. I made it to the back fence and jumped over, expecting Alex to follow me. I slid down the fence until I was sitting on the ground, my knees to my chest. I buried my head in my knees and waited for something to happen.

Alex wasn't far behind me. When he saw me huddled on the ground, he sat next to me and wrapped his arms around me. I didn't cry. I'd already cried too much in front of him. But I did allow him to soothe and comfort me. After a while, when the moon was high in the sky and everything was dark, I could finally sit up straight.

The guests from my house had long gone and I couldn't hear a thing from next door.

"I don't want to go home," I told Alex, staring straight ahead.

"Come on," he said, helping me up. Then he was leading me into his house and giving me one of his oversized shirts and some boxer shorts. He pushed me into the bathroom and told me to have a shower.

When I came out, fresh and feeling a little better, Alex smiled and pulled me into his warm embrace. I pressed against him, finally understanding what it felt like to have someone that understood you completely. It was like we'd been together our whole lives instead of only a couple of days.

"Did you want me to set up the guest bedroom for you?" he asked after a while.

I shook my head, then moved to his bed. Once I was comfortable, I smiled up at him. "I want to sleep right here."

He climbed into bed next to me and wrapped me in his arms. Soon we were cuddled up to each other and he was humming in my ear, sending me to sleep. For once I didn't need to have sex to feel better about myself. Just being in Alex's company was enough to lighten my mood and make me happy. I drifted off to sleep in his arms, listening to him sing the lyrics he wrote for me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"Rose, may I speak to you?" my English teacher, Mrs. Ronald, said as everyone filed out of the classroom.

"Yeah?" I asked when the room was empty.

"I just finished grading your latest assignment, and let me tell you, I'm not very impressed," she said in a stern voice. I was a little taken aback.

"Did I fail?" I asked.

"Yes. This is out of character for you. I've spoken to Mr. Gallagher and I'm going to see if you can redo the assignment. However, the chances aren't very high. I hope you know how serious this is," she said. Her face was set and I could see all the wrinkles in her forehead. I was actually starting to get really worried.

Someone cleared their throat at the door.

"Oh, Daniel, I didn't see you there. I have those results for you if you just want to wait outside for a moment," Mrs. Ronald said.

"I couldn't have failed in English. It's my easiest class. I don't know what happened," I said as soon as Daniel had left the room. I could tell by the look on his face that he'd heard everything. It wasn't exactly something I wanted him to know.

"Well, obviously you took it for granted this term and slacked off. I hope you'll try harder from now on… Is there anything going on at home or in the playground that could have brought this on?" Her voice softened and she looked motherly as she said the last part.

_Plenty_, I thought.

"I promise I'll work harder," I said instead.

"Very well. I'll see you when we next have class.

I couldn't believe I had failed in English! I'd always thought that even the dumbest kid in school could pass that subject. There was no wrong answer to anything! But now I had proven myself wrong. I wondered what had gone so terribly amiss.

* * *

At home, my mother was lying in wait for me, a letter in her hand. I almost groaned when I saw her, knowing exactly what was coming.

"Hello mother, I see my English teacher contacted you," I said as I dropped my school bag on the floor and grabbed something to eat out of the fridge.

"Yes, she did. Come here and sit down, please." Her tone was icy, unhappy, and I realised that she was angrier than I had first realised.

I took a seat opposite her at the table. Her face was hidden in shadow and I couldn't help but get the feeling that this was all some weird sort of movie and I was watching someone else waiting for a talk with their mother.

"I'd like to discuss why your marks are falling," she said after an eternity of silence.

I swallowed. I realised I was nervous, even though I'd spoken to my mother like this countless times. Maybe it was the fact that this time I really had tried to change. I hadn't been to a party in over a month. I was home every night. I hung out with the right people (at least I thought so). I'd been trying to do everything right.

Except this time my mum wasn't just angry or upset, she was _pissed. _Maybe this was the last straw for her. Maybe she really did think that I was hanging out with the wrong people. Whatever it was, I knew I wasn't going to get out of this unscathed.

"You've been spending too much time with your friends. I want you home every afternoon, straight after school, from now on. I want to see you studying and trying to improve your marks. Do you understand?"

"What?" I exclaimed, outraged. "I've been studying! I've been working really hard. It was only a one-off that I failed my English assessment."

My mother's eyes met mine and I recoiled. Okay, so maybe she was beyond pissed.

"Your marks were good before. You weren't failing anything. There might have been some times when you came close, but you never crossed that line. Now, after spending weeks with your new friends, you've failed in something. Don't you think that's a good indication of what's happening?"

I was speechless. While I wanted to deny this wholeheartedly, a little voice in the back of my head couldn't help butting in. What if my friends w_ere_ the reason I was failing? What if I'd been spending too much time with them, after all? My hesitation was obvious, and my mum looked a little pleased.

"I especially think you should stop going out with Alex. He's a bad influence," she said.

"Mum, I really like him," I said in almost a whisper.

"I don't care. There weren't any problems with your marks before he came along. Plus, he rides a motorcycle, which is far too dangerous. He looks shifty. Are you sure you even know him that well?"

"Mum, you know that I've had problems with my behaviour and my marks before. I used to go to parties all the time, but now I haven't been to one in over a month. You know I was close to failing all my subjects at some points. But I always managed to pull myself together in the end. But this time I've made some really good friends and I'm happy. I w_ant _to do well at school for the first time in a long time. Can't you just trust me to bring my marks up to scratch by myself? I can still have a social life and do well at school."

My mum studied me for a long time, considering my little monologue. After a moment, her face became hard again and I knew she'd come to a decision.

"What about Daniel? He's a far better influence than Alex. Why can't you spend more time with him? That would make me happier," she said.

"Daniel? What does he have to do with any of this?"

"He would make a far better suited boyfriend than _Alex_." She said his name like it was an expletive. "You and Daniel would make a good couple, and you could really go places with him. He's focused and he's…well, he's better off than Alex is."

"So this is about wealth now?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"No honey, this is about what's best for you. Do you really think you can focus on your schoolwork while you are with Alex? I'm just saying that in order to do better at school, you need someone steady and focused, like Daniel."

I sighed. I felt like I was a hundred years old. I thought of Daniel: judgemental and temperamental. Then I thought of Alex: nice, caring, and absolutely gorgeous (inside and out). I really couldn't ever consider myself choosing Daniel over Alex. But then I started thinking. My marks _had _started going downhill after I'd met Alex. And I'd promised to be a better daughter to repent for driving my parents apart. If my mum really did think Daniel was better for me, then was it better to make her happy? To be a better daughter, and scholar, was being with Daniel the only way? What was more important: my social life or my mother's happiness?

"I want you home every afternoon. You are not to go out with your friends, unless it is Daniel. You are to study every night and I want proof. Do you understand?" she demanded.

I swallowed and met her eyes. "Yes," I whispered.

"Good."

* * *

"Rose, hey, wait up!" Daniel called down the hallway.

I paused and waited for Daniel to catch up to me. After my mother's talk, I'd barely been paying attention to anything. Will had tried to talk to me all day, but I'd been thinking too hard to pay attention. Only by shouting my name had Daniel gained my notice.

"What's up?" I asked when he'd caught up. School was over and I was headed towards my locker.

"I was wondering if…" he trailed off and I suddenly noticed that he looked nervous. I gave him a look to say 'go ahead'. I wasn't in the mood for waiting.

"Would you like to come to the Masquerade Ball with me? It's on this Saturday night at the school. You've probably heard all about it," he said, laughing it off.

"Actually, I haven't," I admitted.

"Oh, really? Well, the school's fundraising for the dance class's excursion overseas or something. Anyway, they decided to hold a dance where everyone gets dressed up and wears a mask. It should be cool, you know? Anyway, I don't have anyone to go with and I was wondering if you'd like to go?"

"To the dance?" I clarified. I felt a little slow, perhaps because I hadn't talked to anyone all day.

"Yeah."

_What would Alex think?_, was my first thought. But then I thought of my mum and how she would really want me to do something with Daniel. It wasn't a date, right? We could just go as friends? Then I wouldn't feel guilty about Alex. But something told me that this _was _a date and that if I went with Daniel, I was declaring that my mother had won and that I couldn't hang out with my friends anymore.

I thought about it, and finally came to a decision. After all, I was trying to be a better daughter. Family came first, and if my mum wanted me to be friends with Daniel instead of Will, Kate, Jeremy and Alex, then so be it. I had a lot of stuff to repent for my parents anyway. I might as well start now. So what if my happiness had to be put on hold? This wasn't for forever.

"Sure, I'll go with you," I said. I almost felt everything shutting itself off from me now, like the slam of a door. I'd made my decision. There was no going back.

"Cool, I'll pick you up on Saturday," he said, grinning from ear to ear.

I had to wonder; if this was the right thing to do, then why did I feel like I was suffocating?

* * *

That afternoon I didn't meet my friends at the coffee shop. I didn't go over to Alex's either. Instead, I shut myself in my room and studied. When my mum found out about the dance, she was both relieved and happy. Seeing her happy made me hope that this was all worthwhile. Maybe this was the right thing to do.

So the next day, when Alex came knocking on my door, I ignored it. I didn't want to see his face. I didn't want to hurt him. So when my mum answered the door, she told him that I didn't want to speak to him. I didn't hear his reaction – I was too busy studying.

By Friday, the guitar music had stopped playing. Obviously, Alex had realised that I was ignoring him. That I didn't want to be with him anymore. Now when I went to sleep, it was silent. I hadn't realised that I'd grown dependent on Alex's music to send me to sleep. But now I lay awake, my eyes wide open, and couldn't sleep at all.

With every heartbeat I felt my sorrow increase. But I was doing this for my mother. I was doing this for my future career – whatever that may be. I was doing this for myself, because I needed to prove that I wasn't a bad person.

I was doing this for Emily, because she needed someone to look up to.

* * *

**A/N: What do you think? Review and let me know. Next chapter: The Masquerade Ball. Guess who'll be making an appearance? **


	12. Chapter 12

_Every day  
People, in their own sweet way,  
Like to add a coat of paint,  
And be what they ain't!_

_That's how our little  
Game is played,  
Livin' like a masquerade_

-'Façade', Jekyll and Hyde the musical

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

Tonight was the Masquerade Ball. I was dressed in a floor length simple black dress with a corset top. It was simple, elegant and very beautiful. My mask was silver and matched my shoes and my handbag. It was a bit last minute, but I managed to put together a decent outfit.

My mum was ecstatic, running around the house and making sure I looked perfect. She even did my hair for me, which was loosely curled and tied in a sideways ponytail that cascaded over my shoulder.

"You look absolutely gorgeous," my mum exclaimed when I was done getting dressed.

Daniel showed up exactly on time, wearing a glamorous white tux with a matching mask. He looked regal and handsome. I could tell my mum was very happy to see him.

When we arrived at the dance, which was held in the school Hall, I found a variety of different outfits. Most of the girls were wearing one of three things. Some were wearing totally regal outfits that looked like they were from the Middle Ages. They looked gorgeous and totally overdressed. But this was a school for rich kids, and it's not like they couldn't afford to splurge on a beautiful dress. Other girls were dressed simply, much like me. They looked refined and elegant and some were totally unrecognisable. Lastly were the girls wearing skanky outfits. They had dresses that barely reached halfway down their thighs and tops with plunging necklines that showed way too much cleavage. These were the girls that were flaunting their assets at anyone who would look. I hoped that I had never been like them, even at my worst.

The boys weren't as varied. Most of them were wearing simple tuxedos. The more flamboyant ones were wearing more colourful suits. Some were hardly dressed up at all - I saw one guy wearing jeans and a jacket. I also swore I saw a couple of guys dressed up as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, with turtle shells and coloured masks over their eyes.

I couldn't help thinking that this Ball was simply a way to give people the opportunity to spend money and dress up.

Daniel led me to the dance floor where we remained awkwardly for a while. I'd never done this type of dancing – rigid and on beat – before and it was obvious that Daniel wasn't a very good leader. It became apparent that he'd been taking lessons, because I could hear him counting under his breath. But I persevered for his sake and just tried to take in my surroundings.

The Hall was beautifully decorated, with streamers hanging from the roof and balloons tied to every inanimate object. There was a large table to the side that held refreshments and band equipment was set up on stage. Now, they had classical music blasting from the sound system. But it was obvious that a live band was going to start playing soon and that it would be anything but classical. It was a tradition that any dances held at the school would be classical until the stroke of midnight, when the music became less 'tasteful'.

"I'm going to go and get a drink and maybe talk to Kendall. Do you want to come with me?" Daniel asked after more shuffling on the dance floor.

"I think I'll just go and sit down. Take your time," I told him, keeping the relief from my face. I had to keep reminding myself that I was doing this for my family. If being with Daniel made my mother happy, then so be it.

After wading through the sea of dancing couples, I found myself leaning against the far wall, taking deep breaths. This corset top was taking its toll on me and I realised that it wasn't just for decoration – it was actually restricting my breathing!

My breaths were getting shallow and my chest was heaving. I pushed off from the wall and struggled to get outside, where the air was cooler and a lot easier to breathe. Finally, I found a secluded spot and took a seat on a bench. It was cold against the palms of my hands and I hoped that I wasn't ruining my dress. But then I was standing up again when I saw a familiar figure approaching me.

"Alex?" I asked, clenching my dress in my hands nervously.

He kept walking until he was right in front of me, looking down with eyes filled with numerous emotions. My heart was beating a million miles a minute and I knew my hands were sweating. I didn't know what to do or say. I'd been ignoring Alex for days, hoping not to have this particular confrontation.

"What are you doing here?" I blurted.

"I'm with the band," he replied.

I thought back to the stage where a lonely drum kit was sitting with all the other equipment for the band. I swallowed, smoothing my hands over my dress and looking away from his haunted eyes. I didn't think I could stay with him for much longer without breaking down.

He was wearing a black tuxedo and looked so gorgeous that I knew every single girl in a hundred metre radius wouldn't be able to help but look at him tonight. His mask was white and stood in stark contrast to his suit and his stylishly messy dark hair.

"Why have you been ignoring me?" he asked, getting straight to the point.

I couldn't meet his eyes. Surely he'd see right through my façade and know that all I wanted was to be with him. But he wouldn't see that I also needed to be a good daughter. He wouldn't see that I need to do this for my mum. He would only see this as me being selfish, fake. I couldn't go through that with him.

"If this is your retarded way of letting me down easy, then just say so. I won't bother you anymore. You just have to say so," he said softly.

I tried to form the right words in my mouth. I tried to tell him that I didn't want to be his friend anymore, that I didn't want him to kiss me anymore. But it would have been the biggest lie I've ever told. So I stayed silent, struggling with what I should say to him.

His hands came up to caress my face and his gentle touch was nearly enough to send me flying into his arms. But I needed to stay strong for my mum. She wanted this of me. It was the only way I could atone for my previous sins regarding her.

"You look beautiful," he said, his breath brushing against my cheek. I could smell his scent now. It was enough to drive me crazy with want and doubt.

"But I don't like these," he said as his thumbs brushed over the dark circles under my eyes. In just a minute of being with me, he'd noticed what nobody else had. He'd noticed that I hadn't been able to sleep for the past few days. Without his sweet song to send me to sleep, I'd spent my nights lying awake, thinking about him and the way he made me feel.

His hands fell from my face and rested on my waist. This simple gesture is what made me almost start crying. I could feel the warmth of his hands seep through my dress, and I couldn't stand it anymore. So I pushed him away, aware that I was gasping for breath again.

"I can't do this!" I cried.

"Why not?" His voice was full of confusion and sorrow. He sounded heartbroken, and that fact would have made my heart break, if it wasn't already broken.

"Because I have to be the perfect daughter! Because I've already screwed everything else up that I can't screw this up as well! My mum wants me to do this, so I have to."

"Your mum doesn't want you to be with me?" Alex asked, stricken.

I couldn't manage words, so I just nodded my head.

"So what, you're just going to do what she says?" he demanded, anger now evident in his electric blue eyes.

"I have to," I whispered.

"No, you don't!"

"You don't understand! I already broke up her marriage. I have to make it up to her somehow."

He stayed silent for a moment, looking at me. He almost seemed sympathetic and understanding, but then he took a step away from me and looked away.

"Rose, you don't have to do that for your mum. If it's making you unhappy, then you shouldn't have to be with that jerk!"

"You mean Daniel? Who said I was unhappy with him?" I asked, while at the same time it broke my heart to say.

He laughed.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, suddenly feeling angry.

"You can't be serious! I can see the look on your face. I could see the strain you were going through when you danced with him! I'm not an idiot. I know you don't like him that way," he said.

"You saw that?" I asked in a small voice.

"It's not my fault I can't keep my eyes off of you."

I felt my cheeks burn at his comment.

"Tell me, when you kiss him, what do you feel? Do you feel like you're on fire? Do you feel like nothing else in the world matters? Because that's how I feel when I kiss you," he said, taking a step towards me again and wrapping his arm around my waist.

Before I could think, he leaned down to kiss me. I couldn't help but kiss him back, because seriously - how could I not? It was better than I remembered it. It was like everything good in the world all bundled up into one package. I held on to him, sure that if I let go then I'd never be able to do this again.

"Rose?" the shocked voice belonged to none other than Daniel. I broke away from Alex and looked over at him. He stood in the light, holding two drinks, with a hurt and angry expression.

Before I could open my mouth, Daniel was speaking again.

"What the hell do you think you're doing with my date, man?" he demanded, attention fixed on Alex.

"What does it look like?" Alex replied coolly, apparently not viewing Daniel as a threat.

"You've got some nerve!"

"Guys, stop it," I said loudly, trying to defuse the situation.

"Rose, I thought we came here together," Daniel said with a harsh look.

"We did," I answered softly. At this point in time I wasn't sure if Daniel and I had come as friends or more. I suppose I had been willing to be more than friends with him on account of my mum, but now I wasn't sure I could do that. It was obvious I didn't have feelings for him. But I also knew that being with Alex wasn't going to fix my family problems. I was confused, angry and slightly frustrated.

"How 'bout I just leave you guys to figure things out?" Alex asked with a look directed at me that plainly said 'I really don't want to leave you, but I will if that's what you want.'

"You think you can get away with kissing my date just like that? Well, you're wrong!" Daniel exclaimed. The next thing I knew, Daniel had punched Alex in the face. I saw Alex cringe in pain, but then he dodged Daniel's next punch. I let out a small shriek of surprise, perhaps a little delayed.

"I don't want any trouble, man," Alex said.

"You should have thought of that before you kissed her," Daniel replied, panting.

Daniel threw another punch, but Alex simply blocked it. That's when Alex started to fight back. He obviously wasn't going to take any crap from Daniel. Within moments Alex had taken over the fight, giving Daniel a punch in the nose that sent blood streaming down Daniel's face. Alex soon had Daniel on the ground while he stood over him. The whole time this was occurring I didn't know what to do. I tried breaking them up, but seriously; I just got pushed out of the way by Daniel.

"I'm sorry I had to do that," Alex said after a moment, while Daniel scrambled away from him with wounded pride. I wanted to go and make sure that Daniel was okay, but I couldn't bring myself to leave Alex yet.

"Are you all right?" I asked him when Daniel had left.

"I'm fine," he said, flexing his hand. I could see the start of a bruise forming across his knuckles.

"You know, you are both such idiots! You don't need to fight over me," I told him, once I knew I had nothing to be too concerned about.

"I don't believe that," he said simply.

I softened and he pulled me tightly against him. "Everything about you is amazing, which is why I'm not going to give up without a fight," he said sweetly.

"Oh man, I love you so much," I blurted out.

Then I ran away as quickly as I could without looking back. At first I couldn't believe I'd said that to him. Then I realised that it was true and my whole world became chaos. I couldn't love him. I had to stay away from him…for my mother.

Life is so _complicated!_

* * *

_There's a face that we wear  
In the cold light of day -  
It's society's mask,  
It's society's way,  
And the truth is  
That it's all a façade!_

* * *

**A/N: I just thought I'd add a few experts of a song that helped inspire the title of this story. I'm not sure how relevant it is to this chapter, but it's relevant to the overall story. It's called 'Facade' and it's from a musical, 'Jekyll and Hyde'. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

_Ring Ring. Ring Ring._

My phone was ringing again. I didn't bother checking the caller ID. Alex had been ringing me non-stop for the past couple of days. Ever since I'd told him I loved him (which was understandable). But I had no idea what to say to him, so I just kept ignoring it. I let my phone ring on until it finally stopped. I knew the silence wouldn't last for long. I had to admire his determination.

I'd stopped talking to Daniel as well. At this point in time I couldn't trust myself to be with him. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't make myself like him. So I opted to stay as far away from him as I possibly could.

This went for Kate, Jeremy and Will as well. At school I would sit and eat by myself. In the afternoon I wouldn't go anywhere near the café. Okay, let's just say that I'd shut myself away from everyone except my family. I didn't want to speak to anyone at all. My emotions were so conflicted and muddled that I hardly knew what to do with them, so I decided not to do anything with them. I was just going to ignore everyone until I figured out what I was going to do next.

I closed my eyes and rested on my bed. The only person I could bring myself to talk to at the moment was Emily. She didn't require emotional stress. She just wanted me to play dolls with her or build a fort in her room (with blankets). It was nice just spending time with her.

* * *

There was a knock at the door. It was Saturday and I was the only one home. So I opened the front door and hoped it wasn't Alex.

It was Will. Kate and Jeremy were standing behind him.

"What's up?" I asked in a wary tone, preparing to shut the door on them.

"We've come to kidnap you," he said and, before I could do anything, he'd moved into my house and grabbed me by the arm. The next few minutes resulted in a struggle and then my surrender. I then closed up my house and allowed myself to be dragged into Jeremy's car.

Our destination was the Mall and we spent the morning looking through shops and being a nuisance to the owners. I visited a stall that sold quirky necklaces. I bought one with a cute gold key on the chain. Kate decided to buy one too and we got a matching pair.

We ended up at our regular café for lunch, even though it was nowhere near the Mall. It felt good to be with my friends again. It felt good to know that at least with them I didn't have to pretend to be someone else. I knew that these three people were true friends, so it didn't matter what my mum thought.

"So, are you going to tell us what's going on with you? Why have you been ignoring us?" Will finally asked. I'd been expecting this, and I'd even been surprised when they hadn't asked this straight away.

I shrugged, unwilling to give anything away.

"Rose, we're your friends. You can tell us," Kate said with puppy dog eyes.

I sighed. It was no use. They were going to get it out of me sooner or later.

"My mum doesn't like Alex. She thinks he's a bad influence. So I've kind of been staying away from him for my mum's sake. I really owe her a lot…"

There was silence as everyone considered what I'd just said.

"Wait a minute – you've been staying away from the totally gorgeous guy that is perfect for you because your mum said so?" Kate asked in disbelief, giving Jeremy's hand a squeeze when he made an indignant sound at the term 'gorgeous'.

I stayed silent.

"That doesn't sound like you. Why have you suddenly got to do what your mum says?" Will asked.

After a moment of silent inner debate, I finally let my breath out. "It's my fault my parents got divorced. They were always arguing over me. I drove them apart," I admitted, bracing myself for their reactions.

"Did they tell you this?" Kate asked.

"Well, no, but-"

"Then how do you know that's true. There could have been completely different reasons for why they split up!" Kate huffed.

"But-"

"I doubt they would split up just because they were going through a rough patch with you," Jeremy added.

"Yeah, I'm sure they had other reasons," Will said.

I was so overwhelmed by their ideas and opinions that I found I was drowning. What if my parents had split up for other reasons? What if this whole time I'd been blaming myself for their divorce? I soon shook these thoughts out of my head. The only reason my parents ever used to fight was because of me. Otherwise they'd been the perfect couple. It was all my fault.

"So why have you been going out with Daniel?" Kate asked as a change of topic when she saw me struggling to comprehend everything.

"Ugh, my mum r_eally_ likes Daniel. She was very much charmed by him when they met. So she wants me to go out with him more often," I explained.

"Ugh, Daniel? He's such a jerk. He's all nice one second and then he's totally mean the next. He reminds me of Kendall, actually. How could you possibly spend time with him?" Kate asked, scrunching up her nose.

"We're friends. But I don't know if we are anymore. He kind of saw…Alex and me kissing at the Masquerade Ball." When I saw the surprised looks on their faces I rushed to finish. "But it was a one time thing and it doesn't mean anything because we aren't together."

Kate raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

"What else haven't you told us?" Will asked, sounding hurt.

I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't really want to get into the whole mess right now.

"So you like Alex, but you're spending time with Daniel. And this is all because you think you owe your mum something. Why don't you just talk to her and tell her how you feel?" Kate suggested.

"Because I rarely talk about my feelings with anyone," I replied.

"Well, now's a good time to start. You're not weak if you want to talk about your emotions. You're weak if you hide them away or run from them. Just tell her the truth. You might be surprised by what you find," Kate said.

"That was very philosophical of you," I told her.

She grinned. "I try."

* * *

When I got home, my mum was sitting on my bed, holding a large frame in her hands. She looked up at me when I entered and almost seemed like she was startled, even though she'd obviously been waiting for me.

"Mum?"

She put the frame – face down – on my bed and smiled at me. "Your sister made you a present," she said, indicating the frame. I suppressed my curiosity and sat down on the edge of my bed next to my mum.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"I got a very strange phone call from Daniel. He was saying all sorts of weird things. Like how he was sorry about what happened the other day and other such things," she said, folding her hands in her lap and looking at me expectantly.

"Oh," I said, my face going hot from embarrassment. "He…he punched Alex and they started fighting because of something I did."

She surveyed me for a moment, concern and disappointment the dominant features on her face. "Daniel punched someone?" she finally asked.

"Yeah, I think he gets a bit violent and temperamental sometimes. It's very unpredictable." I'd decided to tell my mum the truth. It couldn't hurt to tell her what was really going on with me. I was sick of lying and pretending everything was alright - because it wasn't. I wanted Alex, but I'd settled for Daniel. I wanted great friends, but I'd ended up ignoring them. I was ashamed of myself.

"I would never have guessed," my mum said, fiddling with her gold bracelet. It was a present from my father back when they were married and I knew she never took it off.

"I don't like Daniel very much. I…I really like Alex," I said, holding my breath. There, I'd done it. I'd put myself out there. Now I just had to wait for my mother's reaction.

She cleared her throat, looking very uncomfortable. I could hear her watch ticking softly as silence surrounded us. It felt like the whole world had paused just for this moment.

"Well, why didn't you say so? I would never want you to be with someone you didn't have feelings for, even if they are very charming," she said. Just like that, the world was moving again and I could breathe. Her reply was a lot different to what I was expecting. Instead of disappointment, I felt a sense of relief that made me smile.

"So I can be with Alex?" I asked hopefully.

"If that's what you truly want," she replied. "Why on earth did you think I wouldn't let you two be together?"

I swallowed. "Because you told me that you didn't want me to see him anymore," I offered.

"Oh, right." Her face flushed red in obvious embarrassment. She looked down at her hands, avoiding my gaze.

"Mum, why did you and dad split up?" I asked to change the subject.

She blanched, completely surprised by my question. "What are you talking about? Your father and I simply fell out of love with each other. We couldn't make our relationship work anymore, so we decided to end it. You already know all of this."

"So you're saying that it wasn't my fault? That you guys would have split up even if I hadn't gone through that…stage," I whispered.

"Oh, Rose." My mother's face went soft and I could see the pity all over her face. "Of course it wasn't your fault. We were having a lot of trouble with our relationship, but we tried to hide it from you kids. We didn't want you to hear us fighting, so we held ourselves back."

She reached over and pulled me into a hug. I hadn't hugged her in a long time, and it felt nice to simply be held. I felt warm and smothered and like a little girl. I buried my head into her shoulder and started to cry. I wept until I had nothing left and then she still held me, stroking my hair and whispering in my ear. When I finally pulled myself together, I felt a lot better. My mum left me in my room and I stretched out on my bed, eyes closed.

After a moment I remembered the frame laying face down on my bed and slowly picked it up. My mum had told me that Emily had made it for me. I wondered what it could be and tentatively turned it over.

It was a collage of various photos Emily and I had taken. Around the edge of the frame were numerous photos of Will, Kate, Jeremy and I. I found the one of us posing at the café and felt a smile tug on the corner of my lips. There were a few of Kate and Jeremy kissing on the first day we'd met. I found plenty of me and Will posing for the camera and couldn't help laughing. I found a couple of me and Emily, mucking around and trying to be creative. I felt tears blur my eyes as I remembered all the good times I'd shared with my family and friends.

But the main photo that stood out was the largest, placed right in the middle of the frame. It was Alex and me, kissing. I had my arms wrapped around Alex's neck and his were wrapped around my waist. We were both glowing. I could see that we were both very happy. I gently touched the photo with the tip of my finger. I couldn't believe that I'd given him up just because my mum had wanted me too.

I stood up and carried the collage to my desk and leaned it against the wall. Then I made my way over to my window and pulled back the curtains. I stared at Alex's house and wondered if he was home. I knew what I had to do. I had one more glance out the window before I made my way downstairs and came up to the fence that separated our house. I took a deep breath and climbed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

I knocked on Alex's door, then stepped back. I held my breath, fiddling my fingers and trying to get rid of my sudden nerves. What was I going to say if he answered the door? Would he have already moved on from me? Maybe he already had another girl – God knew he had plenty to choose from.

The door opened before I could lose my nerve and the kind face of Alex's mother greeted me. "Hello," she said, giving me a bright smile. "Are you looking for Alex?"

"Uh, yeah, I was wondering if I could talk to him," I replied.

"Well, he's not here at the moment. He should be home soon though, if you want to stick around," she offered.

The disappointment was probably written all over my face, but I quickly hid it behind a smile. "I'll just come back later. I don't want to put you out," I said even as my eyes started to prick from unshed tears. I didn't know why I was so upset. It wasn't like he'd purposefully rejected me. It wasn't his fault that he wasn't here. But at the moment it felt like the whole world was against me and nothing would ever go my way.

"Nonsense, he shouldn't be too long. You can come and help me make cookies," she said with a huge smile. "Don't be too surprised, but I'm actually making them from scratch." I remembered the packet she'd pulled out for us the first time I'd met her and I blinked away my tears.

"Okay, if you don't mind," I told her as I followed her into the kitchen.

We set about making the cookies and talking idly about neighbourhood gossip. Soon, however, we trailed onto the subject of Alex. I felt comfortable with this woman, so I wasn't surprised or upset when she asked me about Alex.

"What's going on with you two? I know it's not really my business, but I can't help being curious," she said. She looked like a gypsy woman with her headscarf and all of her bangles. She was so different to my own mother, but I couldn't help but trust her anyway. Maybe it was because I hadn't really trusted my own mother for so long.

"I did something stupid. I thought I owed it to someone else to stay away from him," I admitted as my cheeks flushed pink in embarrassment. "But it turns out that I don't owe anyone anything except myself. Now I think I've ruined everything."

"I doubt that very much," she said quietly.

"Why? You don't even know me," I said, not unkindly.

"Because I know how he feels about you. Alex has never been interested in a girl like he's been interested in you. Sure, he's had girlfriends and whatnot, but I've never seen him as happy as he is when you're around. I can tell you feel the same way as well. It'll take more than a few missed phone calls to get him to give you up."

I blushed from her words and busied myself by placing the cookie tray into the oven. What she said made my whole body tingle and I felt a spark of hope deep inside my chest. Maybe there was a way to make everything right.

"The cookies shouldn't take too long. You can go and wait for Alex in his room if you'd like," she said with a warm smile.

"Okay. Thankyou," I told her sincerely.

I made my way to his room and sat down in his desk chair. But before long I was lying in his bed, about to fall asleep. I hadn't realised how exhausted I was until I couldn't keep my eyes open for any longer. I could smell cookies and hear Alex's mother humming to herself, so I slowly let myself be lulled to sleep, hoping that Alex wouldn't mind.

* * *

I woke up feeling very confused and disorientated. I sat up and remembered that I was in Alex's room. He was sitting on a beanbag, quietly strumming his guitar and watching me.

"Hey," I said groggily as I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I had no idea how long I'd been asleep, but I was aware of the cookies sitting on the bedside table.

"Hey," Alex replied as he put his guitar down and stood up. He sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at me, waiting.

"Uh…" Now that he was actually here, I had no idea what to say. I looked at him – his gorgeous expressive eyes and his beautiful features. He didn't look angry at me. Instead, he looked as if nothing had ever gone wrong between us.

"Mum went out to dinner with some of her friends. She wanted you to take as many cookies as you wanted," Alex said after a minute of silence. I glanced at the plate and couldn't keep the smile from my face. "She must really like you. She never makes cookies for me."

I laughed and pulled my knees up to my chest. I rested my chin on my knees and bit my bottom lip.

"I'm really sorry about what happened the other day and how I've been…um…ignoring you," I finally said. I wrapped my arms around my legs and waited for his reply, trying not to dwell on anything I'd just said.

Alex was smiling. "Rose, all I care about is you. If you're telling me that you want us to be together again, then I'm happy. Please tell me that's what this is about."

"What did I ever do to deserve someone like you?" I asked, and then promptly burst into tears. I couldn't believe how incredible Alex was. I couldn't believe I'd been willing to give up this great guy. I felt the bed shift as he crawled over to sit next to me. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into a tight embrace. We sat like that for a while and it felt really nice to be held. I could smell his scent and the warmth of his body was comforting. Even when I was done crying (which I seemed to be doing a lot lately), he still held me.

After a while I turned my face so that my lips met his. Then we were kissing and my arms were wrapped around his neck and he moved so that he was in front of me. Soon we were both lying on the bed, making out, and I felt the happiest I'd been in a long time. I couldn't get enough of this moment.

Soon his hands were under the hem of my shirt and our kiss had become more heated. My heart was thumping a mile a minute and all I wanted was to be like this with him forever. I pulled his shirt off and soon my shirt followed. When I reached for the zipper of his jeans, Alex pulled away and looked down at me. His eyes told me that he thought I was the most beautiful girl in the world, and that made my heart swell.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

No one had ever asked me that question before. This was so much different to all of the drunken sex I was used to. This meant something. _He_ meant something. It felt good to be asked that question and know that this wasn't a one night stand. This was about us.

"I'm sure," I told him, because I had never been surer about anything else in my entire life.

The rest of our clothes disappeared and I let his hands slowly yet surely make their way over my body. For once I was going to be completely in control of myself with a guy. For once I knew exactly what I wanted. So I revelled in every minute that our bodies were combined.

Afterwards, we lay entwined, listening to each other's hearts. I felt like every part of me was alive and filled with new hope and energy. I felt so good that at one stage I wondered if I was dreaming.

Softly, yet with much conviction, Alex said, "I love you."

A smile enveloped my face as I said, "I love you, too."

I knew that from now on my life would be a lot better and happier. We stayed like that, entwined and completely happy, and I knew that I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything in the world.

* * *

**A/N: One more chapter to go. Tell me what you think. Sorry I'm kind of rushing this story, but I don't have enough time to write a really long story at the moment.**


End file.
